So I have a cold. It is not a horrible cold right now. I'm hoping it doesn't get horrible because I started almost immediatley taking extra Emergen-C packets and then went to Airborne. But here is the thing, I think I'm being taught a lesson. My first thought was that God was smiting me. Even though I don't really believe that. But here is the reason why. I had just been talking with friends on Sunday night at the deep fried mac and cheese event. We were talking about how my friends Robin and Karen had recently gone to eating all organic. They also are now members of a CSA. Robin has had some health issues for a while now that mostly manifested themselves in horrible coughing spells. Well since they started eating all organic Robin really hasn't had those problems. I added to this discussion by saying that because of what I eat, the vitamins I take and the general way I live that I--wait for it, wait for it--"I just don't get sick." Yep I said that. And what happens only a few days later I get a freakin' cold.
Now I don't think that God is smiting me. I don't think God does that. However, God/the universe is offering me a lesson. I realized the connection today. Recently my sunglasses broke and I also lost me umbrella. This was a particular problem today because it is a real golly washer of a day. You see what I'm saying. Well let me explain. I try so hard to keep myself safe from harm, or at least safe from annoyance, thinking that if I do all of thees things I won't get wet or sunburned or sick. I do this because I want there to be a reason for everything. And honestly I do recognize that eating well does keep me healthier, but sometimes there are things I can't protect myself from. Part of the reason I'm doing this is because I'm still trying to make sense out of my brother's cancer. He doesn't eat well. His house is a mess, closed up, dusty and dirty. He doesn't really exercise. So if I do all these things I won't get cancer. And perhaps I wont. But despite all of these efforts I still might get sick also. Sometimes it just wont make any sense.
I know i've probably written about this before, so forgive me. It's a lesson I'm learning and I'm guessing I'll keep coming around to it.
One more thing, I'm going out with the gays tonight whether I'm fully well or not. I know this is a stupid idea, but I'm going. My friends never want to go out on a Friday night because they all have been working all week and are tired. So they would rather go out on Saturday night but obviously that doesn't work for me. So anyway, I'm going to load up on vitamin-c and head out about 9:30 tonight. I took a long nap this afternoon and will take another one. But I'm going! I know it is stupid, stupid, stupid. I'll let you know how it turns out.
Peace out!
2 comments:
Sounds like you're working through a lot right now. I hear your taking good care of your body, your house, your social life, etc., but how's your faith right now? Today I can say that I believe that faith let's me deal with whatever may come my way. Tomorrow, I may not be able to say that, but I can today. Faith has become my priority and I'm hoping that as I address the angst in my life with an openness to God's love that I will in turn be able to better love myself, better take care of myself, and better care for others. It's no guarantee
against cancer or even against anxiety -- none of it is. But it's where I am. Get well soon.
For the first two years I lived on my own, I never got sick. Not even a cold. I didn't eat well or take vitamins or exercise regularly, I just never spent enough time with anyone to catch any of their germs. Not by choice, but by circumstance. Of course, I was also incredibly depressed and lonely. So if being around people means getting sick sometimes, I'll definitely take that risk.
Finding a life that allows you to be whole, to live out your values, whether thru CSA or exercise or spending time with friends, that's what's important. And it sounds like that's what you are trying to do.
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