Alright, now the funny and kind of disturbing story from yesterday. I was headed to BART. As I approached the station I could also see a couple approaching, a man helping a woman who clearly had a mobility issue. So I passed them, go through the turnstile, and then head down the escalator. So I'm standing on the platform and I look up and see the couple that I had passed. The woman was falling down and the man was trying to get her up but was not having any success and they were getting closer to the bottom. I run over and help the woman up but by that time the man is falling, I'm struggling to keep from falling down myself. I get her off the escalator and the man gets up. The man says thank you. Then the train comes and as we are standing waiting for the doors of the train to open the man hits the woman on the top of the head. He hit her on the top of the head! Now I thought it was a playful kind of hit on the head. But then as we were riding the train I could hear him yelling at her in what was some obvious slavic language, possibly Russian. (I don't know I don't really speak Russian or some other slavic language.) If this had been a "ripped from the headlines" episode of Law and Order I would have thought they were members of the Russian mafia.
So I felt like I did a good deed. Particularly after the incident a few weeks ago when I told the story about woman falling down the escalator and feeling good about the person helping her up. But then it was just weird when he started yelling at her.
Which brings to the most important part of this post: For God's sakes when you ride an escalator be very careful!
Peace out!
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
#@!%$ Cancer!!!! Part II
My brother got a pet scan result showing that the tumors that had been stable have begun to spread again. His doctor suggested that he call in hospice but also had one more option which my brother has opted for. He will receive a treatment every three weeks for the next nine weeks. At that point they will reassess and if it the tumors are shrinking they will continue the treatment. If it is not then they will stop treatment--essentially this is his last option.
At this point I'm just feeling like this is really inconvenient. I was beginning to feel like my sabbatical plans were getting sorted out and then this big, big unknown. Now here is the thing I know that death is just inconvenient. It just is. And it just will be. I also realize that I can't just cancel all my plans because he could live a day or a year. No one knows. It is just really hard to be in such limbo.
I don't really know what I'm thinking. I feel like I've been preparing myself for this but at the same time I'm not at all prepared to deal with this. And I know that I just will not know what to do because I've never been through this before. So my hope is to just try and feel it and trust that I'll know what to do when I need to act. THIS SUCKS!!!!!!!!!
Tomorrow I'm going to write about an escalator experience--but today is not the day.
At this point I'm just feeling like this is really inconvenient. I was beginning to feel like my sabbatical plans were getting sorted out and then this big, big unknown. Now here is the thing I know that death is just inconvenient. It just is. And it just will be. I also realize that I can't just cancel all my plans because he could live a day or a year. No one knows. It is just really hard to be in such limbo.
I don't really know what I'm thinking. I feel like I've been preparing myself for this but at the same time I'm not at all prepared to deal with this. And I know that I just will not know what to do because I've never been through this before. So my hope is to just try and feel it and trust that I'll know what to do when I need to act. THIS SUCKS!!!!!!!!!
Tomorrow I'm going to write about an escalator experience--but today is not the day.
Monday, January 28, 2008
My new straight boyfriend.
Okay I have a lot to share in today's blog. First I have a new straight boyfriend. Although, I really don't want to give up my other straight boyfriend, my best friend Mark. So I think I'll have to work out some polygamous straight boyfriend arrangement. Anyway, my new straight boyfriend is my friend Hans, my friend Amy's husband who spent the night here Saturday night on his way to Sacramento for a conference. Now before you or Amy gets worried he is not my boyfriend in the conventional sense of the word or the "sleep over" sense of the word. He slept on the sofa. He is my new straight boyfriend for two very big reasons
(1) He is an excellent folder--not folder as in holder of papers but instead folder in the sense of folder of linens. I didn't have to refold my linens that he used before I put them back up in the closet Not the sheet linens they were washed after he slept on them. Lest any you want to come and visit and are afraid you would have to sleep on used sheets. But I mean the quilts and blankets. Normally I would have refolded them, not necessarily because they were folded too poorly, but instead because I'm anal retentive and need things done a certain way. But I didn't have to do that. They were beautiful. I just put them right up in the closet. and the (2) reason is: He squeeged my shower doors after he showered. I don't even squeegee the shower doors. I have a squeegee in there because I once recognized the need to do that after every shower but only did it once. But I got in the shower this morning and the doors were sparkling. And I could tell that the squeegee had been used because it was slightly askew of where it normally stays. Seriously, I mean what more could I ask for. Well alright there are few other things I could ask for, but not in a straight boyfriend. I also would like to now place an order for Hans but in gay.
Speaking of Hans, he and I ate at a French bistro just down the street from the house. The food was delicious, but the service kind of sucked. They did take my number and say we'll call you when we have a table which was nice since we didn't have a reservation and they could have just said you'll have to wait. But the problem arose when after about 15 minutes we still hadn't had our order taken. Which it was a busy restaurant so I would not have minded had our waitress not walked past our table and took the order of the people who sat down a good 5 minutes after us. So I politely touched our waitress on the shoulder, an action that she ignored until she was good and ready to then approach our table. And after that it was all over, plus we didn't order in French. Now here is the thing if we were in French and I didn't attempt to speak French in a restaurant I would expect rude service. But we were not. We were in San Francisco where as far as I know the official language is still English. So I'll probably go back because the food was really good, but I'm hoping for a different waitress the next time.
Just a few more quick things: Yesterday when I went into church someone's intermittent windshield wipers were on even though the car was turned off and no one was in it. When I came out of the church at 12:30, 4 hours later, the windshield wipers were still going. That is some tough battery.
I have a decaying rodent in my bedroom wall. Yuck! And you just have to let it run its course. Fortunately I've been cooking all day so it has masked the odor, but it will be back.
Finally, yesterday during our concerns and celebrations time in worship one of my members who comes to church every week stoned shared about trying to raise birds (He comments on the birds every week during concerns and celebrations.) but this week he added that his birds were cannabalistic. What?!? I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing.
Alright, the gays will be here soon for dinner.
Peace out!
(1) He is an excellent folder--not folder as in holder of papers but instead folder in the sense of folder of linens. I didn't have to refold my linens that he used before I put them back up in the closet Not the sheet linens they were washed after he slept on them. Lest any you want to come and visit and are afraid you would have to sleep on used sheets. But I mean the quilts and blankets. Normally I would have refolded them, not necessarily because they were folded too poorly, but instead because I'm anal retentive and need things done a certain way. But I didn't have to do that. They were beautiful. I just put them right up in the closet. and the (2) reason is: He squeeged my shower doors after he showered. I don't even squeegee the shower doors. I have a squeegee in there because I once recognized the need to do that after every shower but only did it once. But I got in the shower this morning and the doors were sparkling. And I could tell that the squeegee had been used because it was slightly askew of where it normally stays. Seriously, I mean what more could I ask for. Well alright there are few other things I could ask for, but not in a straight boyfriend. I also would like to now place an order for Hans but in gay.
Speaking of Hans, he and I ate at a French bistro just down the street from the house. The food was delicious, but the service kind of sucked. They did take my number and say we'll call you when we have a table which was nice since we didn't have a reservation and they could have just said you'll have to wait. But the problem arose when after about 15 minutes we still hadn't had our order taken. Which it was a busy restaurant so I would not have minded had our waitress not walked past our table and took the order of the people who sat down a good 5 minutes after us. So I politely touched our waitress on the shoulder, an action that she ignored until she was good and ready to then approach our table. And after that it was all over, plus we didn't order in French. Now here is the thing if we were in French and I didn't attempt to speak French in a restaurant I would expect rude service. But we were not. We were in San Francisco where as far as I know the official language is still English. So I'll probably go back because the food was really good, but I'm hoping for a different waitress the next time.
Just a few more quick things: Yesterday when I went into church someone's intermittent windshield wipers were on even though the car was turned off and no one was in it. When I came out of the church at 12:30, 4 hours later, the windshield wipers were still going. That is some tough battery.
I have a decaying rodent in my bedroom wall. Yuck! And you just have to let it run its course. Fortunately I've been cooking all day so it has masked the odor, but it will be back.
Finally, yesterday during our concerns and celebrations time in worship one of my members who comes to church every week stoned shared about trying to raise birds (He comments on the birds every week during concerns and celebrations.) but this week he added that his birds were cannabalistic. What?!? I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing.
Alright, the gays will be here soon for dinner.
Peace out!
Saturday, January 26, 2008
My sermon for tomorrow
Okay, as requested I'm posting my sermon for tomorrow. Now let me remind you that this is the draft I'll finish up tomorrow morning. So there are bound to be misspellings and also I'll add to and take away I'm sure somethings. But this is what I've got.
My Dad likes to tell this story. I was probably 8 or 9 years old and he took me and I’m assuming my brother out fishing on the boat. My father has always been a fisher and as far back as I can remember we always has a fishing boat, distinguished in my mind form a ski boat which was always the kind of boat I really wanted. So anyway he took us out fishing and after a while I reeled in a big fish—I’m guessing 5 or 6 pounds which was pretty big for the lake fish that we were fishing for. After that one fish I was ready to go in. I was finished. I really didn’t like fishing and honestly still don’t like fishing. One of the reasons was that we weren’t allowed to talk because it would scare the fish away. Now I don’t really know if that is true or just my Dad’s way of keeping a precocious 8 year old quiet. Either way you can imagine this not going over well with me. The other part though that I dislike when it comes to fishing is baiting a hook and then having to get that fish off the hook when it is finally reeled in. I find it pretty disgusting to have to dig into a worm or a minnow or shrimp—although, oddly enough I have no problem with slicing into a plump juicy cooked shrimp. But when it is alive I have a bit of an issue. And then getting that slimy fish in the boat and reaching into its mouth to dig out a hook. Oh no! I don’t want anything to do with that. But my Dad loves to tell the story of when I caught the biggest fish and then wanted to come in. My brother has always been the one to fish with my dad.
In turn I was never really able to connect with my Dad like my brother has. And my Dad didn’t really understand the kid who was into piano and acting. When I was in college I started watching college basketball and football and professional baseball. I know this was largely because that would give me something to talk to my Dad about. And it has worked for the most part. I can almost always get him to at least talk for a little while about sports. Now sometimes I have to fake my knowledge but I know that this is one way that I can connect with him. I can meet him where he is in hopes that he might try to connect with mine.
And I think that is what Jesus was doing in today’s gospel reading. Because I don’t think he was saying that they were going to be literally fishers of people. As I said up above fishing can be a pretty gruesome approach. And it often involves tricking a fish to bite onto the hook. Or in the case of the nets it plucks fish up out of the water who weren’t really looking to be plucked up. Because as much as my Dad loves fishing I’ve never met a fish that loved being caught. It is rare that a fish just jumps into the boat and lays waiting to be filleted and served up for someone’s dinner. And it is far too easy to take the metaphor too far and many of our Christian brothers and sisters have taken the metaphor too far. Looking for the just the right bait to lure someone into Christian. The right net that will keep people from breaking out. Or those that would force people into the boat through a state sanctioned religion. Those who want the fish to submit dead or alive. No I can’t imagine Jesus meant that Simon and Andrew would use the same techniques for discipleship that they had been using to catch fish.
Instead Jesus was talking their language, he was coming to them first. He was finding a way to connect. A way to engage in their lives so that they might engage in his. He was doing what many of the political candidates tried to do in Iowa and New Hampshire. Not now, not when they are trying to campaign in 26 states at a time, but when they had time to focus their efforts on one state with a small number of residents. They were able to really get out and meet and interact with people. And often what they tried to do was to talk their language. They went to supermarkets and gas stations, restaurants and gyms, churches and synagogues—all the places that people gathered. And they also often engaged in tasks that the people they were meeting were engaged in. They did just about everything from bagging groceries to helping at a hospital. My friend Nancy who lives in New Hampshire was going to try and get Mike Huckabee to shovel her sidewalk. I don’t think she was successful but these are the things that they did to connect with people. Now for many of the politicians I think these were just photo opportunities rather than a genuine desire to connect and now it is all about the crowds coming to them. They are hoping that people will come to them so that they don’t have to go to them. But not Jesus he was going out in a genuine desire to connect with these fishermen. Because while most of us have no delusion that one of the people running for president are really like us, these fishermen believe that Jesus really was one of them. He made the connection, a connection so great that they left their nets behind and followed him. I know this had to be so, because I’m not dropping what I’m doing to follow Hillary Clinton or Rudy Guillani around the country or I guess in Rudy’s case around Florida. But these boat workers did. They left family and friends and all they had to follow this person who was like them and promised that they would become fisher of people. And what they say when they followed this stranger become friend was teaching and healing, proclamation of the good news.
Last week I talked about a book I had read called Meeting Jesus Again for the First Time by Marcus Borg. I want to say a little bit more because I think it aids our discussion today. Borg says that there are three driving stories in the Bible that encapsulate Old Testament theology and influenced the people of the New Testament, stories that were the only stories that Jesus would have known. And are the stories that have largely shaped the church’s understanding of who Jesus is. The first is the story of the Exodus. The story of Moses leading the Isrealites out of the slavery of Egypt. A story that talks of God’s deliverance of the people from bondage. This is a story that is told over and over. And it is easy for us to see how that has been reflected in an understanding to Jesus has the one to lead us out of bondage, out of slavery. We no longer have to live under the rule of Pharoah. We know that our allegiance lies somewhere else. I also get how important this image of Jesus is. For many of us have been slave to something, alcohol, drugs, sex, our families, the closet. Yes many of us need Jesus to be a new Moses offering to lead us out of bondage.
The second story is the priestly story. The story that I alluded to last week. The priestly story is probably the most popular, and by that the one that has been most passed down in our liturgy and in popular theology. The idea that there was a priestly line that would offer sacrifice for the impure people so that they could be reconciled with God. They would make the sacrifice for all the people. This is a prominent image of Jesus. Jesus took on the sins of the world so that we could be reconciled with the Creator. The idea that there is nothing we can do that can separate us from the love of God. Because no matter what we have done we are forgiven because Christ has taken on our sins. This is such an important image for those of us who feel so unworthy, so unlovable because of what we are or what we have done. This image of Christ says you are lovable, you are worthy. And you can leave behind all that self hatred and live a new life, a new way.
The third story that we have talked a little bit about in the last 3 or 4 months is the story of the Exile, not the Exodus but the Exile. The Exile was the Babylonian take over of Isreal and the exile and dispersion of its people. For the Isrealites the necessity was to know that God was with them in exile as God was when they were in Isreal. They needed to notice and have God revealed to them. This image of Jesus reveals to the people many things: Jesus revealed what God was like, Jesus revealed God’s presence with us humans, that God was not an impersonal God but one who understood the struggles of humanity. Also Jesus revealed a light, a light pointing us home out of the darkness that we are living in. Jesus reveals a way to God, path that leads us into a deeper spiritual walk with the Divine. One can see how this image is for the person who has discovered the forgiveness that God offers and yet seeks something deeper than a constant forgiveness of sins.
All of these images are needed because we are all in different places. We need Jesus to meet us where we are. And there are bound to be even more. Because we aren’t all fishers. We aren’t all in the same need for healing the Jesus offered these early disciples. But the good news is that Jesus meets us where we are, he casts a net that is broad and open. One that is inviting and seeks to form real connections. And then sends us out to offer the same invitation to the rest of the world, to people whoever they are wherever they are. If Jesus were meeting you today what he might say to call you out of your boat: Follow me you bankers and I’ll make you bank human life! Follow me you carpernters and contractors and I’ll make you builders of God’s realm. Follow me you librarians and I’ll make you collectors of God’s people. “Follow me, you friends, you parents, you children, you siblings, you neighbors, you strangers, you hosts and guests, and I will make you all these things—to every other human being!” (Anna Carter Florence, Preaching Matthew from www.goodpreacher.com.) Amen.
My Dad likes to tell this story. I was probably 8 or 9 years old and he took me and I’m assuming my brother out fishing on the boat. My father has always been a fisher and as far back as I can remember we always has a fishing boat, distinguished in my mind form a ski boat which was always the kind of boat I really wanted. So anyway he took us out fishing and after a while I reeled in a big fish—I’m guessing 5 or 6 pounds which was pretty big for the lake fish that we were fishing for. After that one fish I was ready to go in. I was finished. I really didn’t like fishing and honestly still don’t like fishing. One of the reasons was that we weren’t allowed to talk because it would scare the fish away. Now I don’t really know if that is true or just my Dad’s way of keeping a precocious 8 year old quiet. Either way you can imagine this not going over well with me. The other part though that I dislike when it comes to fishing is baiting a hook and then having to get that fish off the hook when it is finally reeled in. I find it pretty disgusting to have to dig into a worm or a minnow or shrimp—although, oddly enough I have no problem with slicing into a plump juicy cooked shrimp. But when it is alive I have a bit of an issue. And then getting that slimy fish in the boat and reaching into its mouth to dig out a hook. Oh no! I don’t want anything to do with that. But my Dad loves to tell the story of when I caught the biggest fish and then wanted to come in. My brother has always been the one to fish with my dad.
In turn I was never really able to connect with my Dad like my brother has. And my Dad didn’t really understand the kid who was into piano and acting. When I was in college I started watching college basketball and football and professional baseball. I know this was largely because that would give me something to talk to my Dad about. And it has worked for the most part. I can almost always get him to at least talk for a little while about sports. Now sometimes I have to fake my knowledge but I know that this is one way that I can connect with him. I can meet him where he is in hopes that he might try to connect with mine.
And I think that is what Jesus was doing in today’s gospel reading. Because I don’t think he was saying that they were going to be literally fishers of people. As I said up above fishing can be a pretty gruesome approach. And it often involves tricking a fish to bite onto the hook. Or in the case of the nets it plucks fish up out of the water who weren’t really looking to be plucked up. Because as much as my Dad loves fishing I’ve never met a fish that loved being caught. It is rare that a fish just jumps into the boat and lays waiting to be filleted and served up for someone’s dinner. And it is far too easy to take the metaphor too far and many of our Christian brothers and sisters have taken the metaphor too far. Looking for the just the right bait to lure someone into Christian. The right net that will keep people from breaking out. Or those that would force people into the boat through a state sanctioned religion. Those who want the fish to submit dead or alive. No I can’t imagine Jesus meant that Simon and Andrew would use the same techniques for discipleship that they had been using to catch fish.
Instead Jesus was talking their language, he was coming to them first. He was finding a way to connect. A way to engage in their lives so that they might engage in his. He was doing what many of the political candidates tried to do in Iowa and New Hampshire. Not now, not when they are trying to campaign in 26 states at a time, but when they had time to focus their efforts on one state with a small number of residents. They were able to really get out and meet and interact with people. And often what they tried to do was to talk their language. They went to supermarkets and gas stations, restaurants and gyms, churches and synagogues—all the places that people gathered. And they also often engaged in tasks that the people they were meeting were engaged in. They did just about everything from bagging groceries to helping at a hospital. My friend Nancy who lives in New Hampshire was going to try and get Mike Huckabee to shovel her sidewalk. I don’t think she was successful but these are the things that they did to connect with people. Now for many of the politicians I think these were just photo opportunities rather than a genuine desire to connect and now it is all about the crowds coming to them. They are hoping that people will come to them so that they don’t have to go to them. But not Jesus he was going out in a genuine desire to connect with these fishermen. Because while most of us have no delusion that one of the people running for president are really like us, these fishermen believe that Jesus really was one of them. He made the connection, a connection so great that they left their nets behind and followed him. I know this had to be so, because I’m not dropping what I’m doing to follow Hillary Clinton or Rudy Guillani around the country or I guess in Rudy’s case around Florida. But these boat workers did. They left family and friends and all they had to follow this person who was like them and promised that they would become fisher of people. And what they say when they followed this stranger become friend was teaching and healing, proclamation of the good news.
Last week I talked about a book I had read called Meeting Jesus Again for the First Time by Marcus Borg. I want to say a little bit more because I think it aids our discussion today. Borg says that there are three driving stories in the Bible that encapsulate Old Testament theology and influenced the people of the New Testament, stories that were the only stories that Jesus would have known. And are the stories that have largely shaped the church’s understanding of who Jesus is. The first is the story of the Exodus. The story of Moses leading the Isrealites out of the slavery of Egypt. A story that talks of God’s deliverance of the people from bondage. This is a story that is told over and over. And it is easy for us to see how that has been reflected in an understanding to Jesus has the one to lead us out of bondage, out of slavery. We no longer have to live under the rule of Pharoah. We know that our allegiance lies somewhere else. I also get how important this image of Jesus is. For many of us have been slave to something, alcohol, drugs, sex, our families, the closet. Yes many of us need Jesus to be a new Moses offering to lead us out of bondage.
The second story is the priestly story. The story that I alluded to last week. The priestly story is probably the most popular, and by that the one that has been most passed down in our liturgy and in popular theology. The idea that there was a priestly line that would offer sacrifice for the impure people so that they could be reconciled with God. They would make the sacrifice for all the people. This is a prominent image of Jesus. Jesus took on the sins of the world so that we could be reconciled with the Creator. The idea that there is nothing we can do that can separate us from the love of God. Because no matter what we have done we are forgiven because Christ has taken on our sins. This is such an important image for those of us who feel so unworthy, so unlovable because of what we are or what we have done. This image of Christ says you are lovable, you are worthy. And you can leave behind all that self hatred and live a new life, a new way.
The third story that we have talked a little bit about in the last 3 or 4 months is the story of the Exile, not the Exodus but the Exile. The Exile was the Babylonian take over of Isreal and the exile and dispersion of its people. For the Isrealites the necessity was to know that God was with them in exile as God was when they were in Isreal. They needed to notice and have God revealed to them. This image of Jesus reveals to the people many things: Jesus revealed what God was like, Jesus revealed God’s presence with us humans, that God was not an impersonal God but one who understood the struggles of humanity. Also Jesus revealed a light, a light pointing us home out of the darkness that we are living in. Jesus reveals a way to God, path that leads us into a deeper spiritual walk with the Divine. One can see how this image is for the person who has discovered the forgiveness that God offers and yet seeks something deeper than a constant forgiveness of sins.
All of these images are needed because we are all in different places. We need Jesus to meet us where we are. And there are bound to be even more. Because we aren’t all fishers. We aren’t all in the same need for healing the Jesus offered these early disciples. But the good news is that Jesus meets us where we are, he casts a net that is broad and open. One that is inviting and seeks to form real connections. And then sends us out to offer the same invitation to the rest of the world, to people whoever they are wherever they are. If Jesus were meeting you today what he might say to call you out of your boat: Follow me you bankers and I’ll make you bank human life! Follow me you carpernters and contractors and I’ll make you builders of God’s realm. Follow me you librarians and I’ll make you collectors of God’s people. “Follow me, you friends, you parents, you children, you siblings, you neighbors, you strangers, you hosts and guests, and I will make you all these things—to every other human being!” (Anna Carter Florence, Preaching Matthew from www.goodpreacher.com.) Amen.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Friday Five
Okay, I have big news. Big!!! It is Friday afternoon and I have written my sermon for Sunday. Can you believe it? I can't. Now you might be asking what got into Dixie that he finished his sermon so soon. Well my friend Amy's (and regular blog reader) husband is spending the night here tomorrow night and it planning to arrive sometime in the afternoon so I really wouldn't have that much time tomorrow to work on it. Although, I'm sure Hans would give me all the time I need I wanted to spend time with him being a good host and getting to know him. This will be the first time I meet Hans and I'm excited because I love his wife so I'm bound to love the person she loves. So anyway I wrote my sermon today. Now here is the thing--this tells me that all that stuff about not being ready to write my sermon until Saturday is just bologna. We'll see if this carries on into next week. I think what needs to happen is I need a house guest every Saturday night. I'll set up a calendar and all of you can sign up for dates.
Now on to other things. As you can see to the left there is a blog link to RevGalPals. This is a blog for women clergy and the people who support women clergy. (If you are a clergy person you should read this blog regularly. There is normally some good stuff and good conversation.) But on Friday's they do what they call Friday Five which consists of five questions to answer. So I'm going to do that today here at YoucancallmeDixie. Here it goes:
(1) What is the thermometer reading at your house this morning? Well since it is now the afternoon so I can't answer that question. But currently in San Francisco it is 50 and the low today was 47.
(2) Snow--love it or hate it? Well I think it is beautiful. I've enjoyed the times I've been someplace where it snowed. However, i think I would hate living in it. Just the thought of having to shovel to get out of the house in the morning is not appealing at all.
(3) What is winter like where you are? Well today is a pretty good example of winter in San Francisco. It is moderately cold but raining like crazy. In the summer we get cold weather but in the winter it is normally pretty rainy. Today it is raining freakin cats and dogs. And it is supposed to rain for the next two weeks. It is normally about this time of year when I go to my office expecting a certain amount of flooding from the large "skylight" in the roof. (Skylight because it is really just a big hole.)
(4) Do you like winter sports? Any good stories? Alright, I have to say I don't particularly enjoy participating in any sport, winter or summer. I enjoy running but don't really see that as a sport. All that being said I am a winter olympics junky. The first year I remember really getting into the winter olympics was when there was a Men's figure skating match-up of Canadian Brian Orser versus American Brian Boitano--for obvious reasons the battle of the Brian's had great appeal. I also decided a few years ago that my friend Mark and I are going to try out for the USA men's curling team. I'm am pretty good with a broom and basically it is just shuffleboard on ice, so how hard can that be. Plus they have snack breaks.
(5) What is your favorite season and why? I would have to say that is Spring. I love the flowers and the beautiful crisp weather. it is not normally too cold or too hot. In San Francisco it is particularly beautiful and warm, not as warm as the early fall but warm none the less. (And by warm I mean sometimes over 70 heading towards 80. We only have about a 30 degree temperature change throughout the year, from 50 to 80.)
So there you have it my Friday Five. Hope you enjoyed. I'm going to make a pot of soup.
Peace out!
Now on to other things. As you can see to the left there is a blog link to RevGalPals. This is a blog for women clergy and the people who support women clergy. (If you are a clergy person you should read this blog regularly. There is normally some good stuff and good conversation.) But on Friday's they do what they call Friday Five which consists of five questions to answer. So I'm going to do that today here at YoucancallmeDixie. Here it goes:
(1) What is the thermometer reading at your house this morning? Well since it is now the afternoon so I can't answer that question. But currently in San Francisco it is 50 and the low today was 47.
(2) Snow--love it or hate it? Well I think it is beautiful. I've enjoyed the times I've been someplace where it snowed. However, i think I would hate living in it. Just the thought of having to shovel to get out of the house in the morning is not appealing at all.
(3) What is winter like where you are? Well today is a pretty good example of winter in San Francisco. It is moderately cold but raining like crazy. In the summer we get cold weather but in the winter it is normally pretty rainy. Today it is raining freakin cats and dogs. And it is supposed to rain for the next two weeks. It is normally about this time of year when I go to my office expecting a certain amount of flooding from the large "skylight" in the roof. (Skylight because it is really just a big hole.)
(4) Do you like winter sports? Any good stories? Alright, I have to say I don't particularly enjoy participating in any sport, winter or summer. I enjoy running but don't really see that as a sport. All that being said I am a winter olympics junky. The first year I remember really getting into the winter olympics was when there was a Men's figure skating match-up of Canadian Brian Orser versus American Brian Boitano--for obvious reasons the battle of the Brian's had great appeal. I also decided a few years ago that my friend Mark and I are going to try out for the USA men's curling team. I'm am pretty good with a broom and basically it is just shuffleboard on ice, so how hard can that be. Plus they have snack breaks.
(5) What is your favorite season and why? I would have to say that is Spring. I love the flowers and the beautiful crisp weather. it is not normally too cold or too hot. In San Francisco it is particularly beautiful and warm, not as warm as the early fall but warm none the less. (And by warm I mean sometimes over 70 heading towards 80. We only have about a 30 degree temperature change throughout the year, from 50 to 80.)
So there you have it my Friday Five. Hope you enjoyed. I'm going to make a pot of soup.
Peace out!
Thursday, January 24, 2008
This post brought to you by the letter M
Alright, I have to actually make a decision now. I have been and am a big Dennis Kucinich fan. I had decided I didn't have to decide between Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama or John Edwards because I was supporting Dennis Kucinich. Even though I knew that a hobbit would never be elected president I was going to vote for the person I most agreed with. So Dennis was my man. Well now that is all over. I just read the he plans to withdraw from the race tomorrow. So now I have to actually make a decision. And I'm fairly certain I know what I'll decide. But I really didn't want to have to make a decision. I was just going to support whoever the Democratic nominee was in the end. And believe me when I tell you, I don't need any more help in making a decision. But I just hate it, I was hoping that he could just hold on until February 5. Why oh why couldn't I live in New Hampshire? (Well alright I know I might hate the cold more than having to make a presidential decision but I'm not sure.)
The other thing I want to comment on is my name. I really like my name, but recently I've been wishing part of my name started with the letter M. Why M you ask? Well that is a good question. I'm sure there is something beneath it but the surface reason is that I write a really pretty M. I've been writing it on the shower door for the past several weeks. And it is really beautiful. I don't know why I started writing the letter M on the shower door. It is probably partially due to the fact that people in my life whose name do begin with M are weighing heavy on my mind these days. But as I said I also think I just write a really pretty M. If I were famous I would change my name to an M name just because my autograph would be spectacular.
Okay that is enough for today.
Peace out!
The other thing I want to comment on is my name. I really like my name, but recently I've been wishing part of my name started with the letter M. Why M you ask? Well that is a good question. I'm sure there is something beneath it but the surface reason is that I write a really pretty M. I've been writing it on the shower door for the past several weeks. And it is really beautiful. I don't know why I started writing the letter M on the shower door. It is probably partially due to the fact that people in my life whose name do begin with M are weighing heavy on my mind these days. But as I said I also think I just write a really pretty M. If I were famous I would change my name to an M name just because my autograph would be spectacular.
Okay that is enough for today.
Peace out!
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Escalator Mayhem
Okay so today I saw humanity at its best. Today as I was getting off BART to go see a movie. (I saw No Country for Old Men which ironically is about humanity at its worst. Ooh, talk about tragic. And bloody, good Lord!) So anyway--up a ways was a woman who was tumbling down the escalator. She had apparently gotten onto the escalator with a suitcase and then lost her balance or something and was now tumbling over and over down the lower portion of the escalator. Meanwhile her suitcase was slowly ascending. And two women came to her aid and helped her up. I think the fact that she was struggling so hard to stand up was the very thing that kept her tumbling. Had she just sort of collapsed into it she would have eventually stabilized and would then have been able to stand up. But I thought it was great that two women helped her get up. Doesn't it say something about my view of people that I don't think anyone would help a woman who was tumbling down an escalator?
Now I was relaying this story to my friend Mary Sue tonight and she told me this story. A woman was at a big Target in San Diego. If you all don't have big Targets where you live I'm sorry but the ones that are really big and by really big I mean two story Targets have escalators. They don't just have an escalator for people but they also have an escalator for your shopping cart. So anyway this woman was riding the down elevator, minding her own business, when she hears a commotion. Someone had pushed their cart down the human escalator. So a quick thinking employee said turn to the side and brace yourself. Now two things: first, this employee acted so quickly that it was clear this has happened before. The other thing was the woman who pushed the cart down the human escalator was very apologetic and said that she just got confused. Got confused? How does one get that confused. There are big signs that say human elevator/no carts and cart elevator/no people. And the escalators look very different. I mean I have been confused before and have done things without thinking--but I think i would realize I was about to push a cart down an escalator. I was hoping this woman was really old, but apparently she was just a middle aged woman who wasn't paying attention. Can't you just imagine this woman also being the one walking down the runway of life with her skirt tucked in the back of her pantyhose?
Alright, until next time, for God's sake pay attention.
Peace out!
Now I was relaying this story to my friend Mary Sue tonight and she told me this story. A woman was at a big Target in San Diego. If you all don't have big Targets where you live I'm sorry but the ones that are really big and by really big I mean two story Targets have escalators. They don't just have an escalator for people but they also have an escalator for your shopping cart. So anyway this woman was riding the down elevator, minding her own business, when she hears a commotion. Someone had pushed their cart down the human escalator. So a quick thinking employee said turn to the side and brace yourself. Now two things: first, this employee acted so quickly that it was clear this has happened before. The other thing was the woman who pushed the cart down the human escalator was very apologetic and said that she just got confused. Got confused? How does one get that confused. There are big signs that say human elevator/no carts and cart elevator/no people. And the escalators look very different. I mean I have been confused before and have done things without thinking--but I think i would realize I was about to push a cart down an escalator. I was hoping this woman was really old, but apparently she was just a middle aged woman who wasn't paying attention. Can't you just imagine this woman also being the one walking down the runway of life with her skirt tucked in the back of her pantyhose?
Alright, until next time, for God's sake pay attention.
Peace out!
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
A parrot and mea culpa
Several times today I saw a man walking around my neighborhood with a parrot on his shoulder. I kept looking for an eye patch and a peg leg. It's odd enough to have seen him once but I saw him several times. Do you think the universe is trying to tell me something? If so what could it be?
One more thing: I feel the need to offer a public apology to someone who I overshared about recently on the blog. I'm not going to mention the name or the incident because then that would just send all of you who didn't read it the first time to find it and then it would be even more awkward. I really did cross a line. (Oh and it is not the jock strap offering porn by the dining room table parishioner--that I'm alright with.) Anyway, I really knew as I was doing it I crossed a line but I didn't turn back. So I just wanted to apologize. And say I always try and tell only my story, sometimes other people are involved. And from now on I'll work even harder to protect their privacy. I don't want to hurt the people I love the most or betray their trust. Sorry again.
So that's it. I need a nap. It's cold here. I know its not as cold as it is in other places but for here it is cold.
Peace out!
One more thing: I feel the need to offer a public apology to someone who I overshared about recently on the blog. I'm not going to mention the name or the incident because then that would just send all of you who didn't read it the first time to find it and then it would be even more awkward. I really did cross a line. (Oh and it is not the jock strap offering porn by the dining room table parishioner--that I'm alright with.) Anyway, I really knew as I was doing it I crossed a line but I didn't turn back. So I just wanted to apologize. And say I always try and tell only my story, sometimes other people are involved. And from now on I'll work even harder to protect their privacy. I don't want to hurt the people I love the most or betray their trust. Sorry again.
So that's it. I need a nap. It's cold here. I know its not as cold as it is in other places but for here it is cold.
Peace out!
Monday, January 21, 2008
Abort! Abort! This blog has been compromised!
First before I begin the actual subject of my post I'd like to say a few things
(1) I just saw a grown adult male at the Safeway wearing a coonskin cap, complete with tail and everything.
(2) I've spent a lot of time today inviting people to my blog. I have to say I really appreciate all of you who are reading.
Now the reason for the added security. Yesterday I was at church and one of my parishioners showed up. This is the one who I wrote about a while ago and talked about going to his house for a dinner and there being a stack of porn literally 6 feet from the dining room table. And he said "I started to bring you a jock strap today." To which I thought "EWWWW" Then he said that he had read my blog. If you don't know the entry he is talking about scroll down a bit and read "The Limits of Target." Now I had been very diligent about not giving church members my blog address, because I wanted this to be a place where I could talk about anything including them. So when he said this I tried not to look too horrified as I quickly worked through all my most recent blog posts to determine if there was something in any of them that would have been particularly damaging. I don't think there was. But anyway so I casually asked him "Oh how did you find my blog." To which he said I was looking for your phone number last week and I googled you. (Now let me take a moment to say: every six months or so I give everyone in the congregation an updated mailing list or church directory with everyone's phone number including mine. And inevitably most people lose them and then don't know what numbers to call and e-mail me to ask me for so-and-so's number. Why do I even bother? Arrrgghh!!!) Anyway, I just played it cool--but secretly I was thinking oh shit now what am I going to do. So that is why I added the security feature.
I really didn't want to do it because I was pretty sure it meant people would have to get a google account and it would also take some work on my part inviting everyone. And boy did it take some work. I worked for several hours trying to add everyone's e-mail address directly to the blogger account, and I kept making a mistake somewhere because it only could be e-mail addresses and when I would try and copy and past from outlook it would include the name and brackets, all of which needed to be deleted. So I kept getting an error message. So finally I just sent out the blanket e-mail. But hopefully soon all of this will be behind us and we can go on blogging like before.
If you know of anyone who is not one of my direct friends or acquaintances who you know read the blog please pass on their e-mail addresses to me and I'll invite them. I really don't care who reads my blog as long as it is not a member of the church.
So that's it. That's the story.
(1) I just saw a grown adult male at the Safeway wearing a coonskin cap, complete with tail and everything.
(2) I've spent a lot of time today inviting people to my blog. I have to say I really appreciate all of you who are reading.
Now the reason for the added security. Yesterday I was at church and one of my parishioners showed up. This is the one who I wrote about a while ago and talked about going to his house for a dinner and there being a stack of porn literally 6 feet from the dining room table. And he said "I started to bring you a jock strap today." To which I thought "EWWWW" Then he said that he had read my blog. If you don't know the entry he is talking about scroll down a bit and read "The Limits of Target." Now I had been very diligent about not giving church members my blog address, because I wanted this to be a place where I could talk about anything including them. So when he said this I tried not to look too horrified as I quickly worked through all my most recent blog posts to determine if there was something in any of them that would have been particularly damaging. I don't think there was. But anyway so I casually asked him "Oh how did you find my blog." To which he said I was looking for your phone number last week and I googled you. (Now let me take a moment to say: every six months or so I give everyone in the congregation an updated mailing list or church directory with everyone's phone number including mine. And inevitably most people lose them and then don't know what numbers to call and e-mail me to ask me for so-and-so's number. Why do I even bother? Arrrgghh!!!) Anyway, I just played it cool--but secretly I was thinking oh shit now what am I going to do. So that is why I added the security feature.
I really didn't want to do it because I was pretty sure it meant people would have to get a google account and it would also take some work on my part inviting everyone. And boy did it take some work. I worked for several hours trying to add everyone's e-mail address directly to the blogger account, and I kept making a mistake somewhere because it only could be e-mail addresses and when I would try and copy and past from outlook it would include the name and brackets, all of which needed to be deleted. So I kept getting an error message. So finally I just sent out the blanket e-mail. But hopefully soon all of this will be behind us and we can go on blogging like before.
If you know of anyone who is not one of my direct friends or acquaintances who you know read the blog please pass on their e-mail addresses to me and I'll invite them. I really don't care who reads my blog as long as it is not a member of the church.
So that's it. That's the story.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Pledge time: UPDATED
I'm doing what I do every Saturday morning. I'm lying in bed listening to NPR. (This morning is a little bit different because I'm also surfing the internet looking for inspiration for my sermon tomorrow.) But here is my complaint. It is pledge time for my local public radio station. I hate pledge time. Now I'm a member of my public radio station. I became a member a few years ago because I thought I should since I listen regularly but also because I wanted a Wait! Wait! Don't Tell Me! coffee mug. Wait! Wait! is my favorite NPR show. It comes on at 11 AM on Saturday mornings here. Right after Car Talk. But anyway they keep breaking in with 10 minute breaks for Greg Sherwood and whoever is working at the local host. So that means of 30 minutes of program I only get 20 minutes. But the shows aren't any shorter, KQED is just cutting out 10 minutes of program. I wish there was a less annoying way for them to get the money they need to stay on the air and provide me with my Saturday morning entertainment.
So I might write again later, but that is just me bitching. Oh my God Greg Sherwood just came back on. He was only gone 4 minutes that time. So that means this was only like 15 minutes of programming. Seriously if they do that during Wait! Wait! I am going to be pissed.
Peace out!
Okay, clearly one of two things must have happened
(1) The folks at KQED read my blog and decided not to cut into Wait! Wait! Don't Tell Me!
(2) They know how annoyed many people would have been by that.
I'm going to go with #1, because You Can Call Me Dixie Fever is sweeping the nation
So I might write again later, but that is just me bitching. Oh my God Greg Sherwood just came back on. He was only gone 4 minutes that time. So that means this was only like 15 minutes of programming. Seriously if they do that during Wait! Wait! I am going to be pissed.
Peace out!
Okay, clearly one of two things must have happened
(1) The folks at KQED read my blog and decided not to cut into Wait! Wait! Don't Tell Me!
(2) They know how annoyed many people would have been by that.
I'm going to go with #1, because You Can Call Me Dixie Fever is sweeping the nation
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Oh, my achy everything!
Okay, so I just got back a little while ago from Pilates/Yoga class. Normally, I go in the mornings, but today I just did not want to get up in time to be ready to get there in time. And I knew there was another class at 6. Well the only problem is the 6 PM class is a level 2 and 3 class where the morning class is a level 1 and 2 class. The latter being easier than the first. So let me just say I am hurting. My abs hurts, my butt hurts, my arms hurt, my legs hurt. The class started at 6, by 6:30 I thought I was going to die. (Not seriously, because death is serious, but you know what I'm saying.)
Last night I went to a play at the Actors' Conservatory Theater. The ACT is a theater that has given many actors their starts, including Annette Benning and Olympia Dukakis. The gays and I bought season tickets to the ACT this season. We didn't buy all of the shows, only five. The first show was Sweeney Todd. The second show last night was Speed the Plow written by David Mamet. David Mamet wrote Glengarry Glenross. He also wrote the Spanish Prisoner and Wag the Dog, among others. His dialogue is rapid fire and I'm fairly certain he breaks the record for the use of the f-word. The play is set in Hollywood about the movie industry. Extreme ambition that takes precedent over ones morals and ethics. So so far we have seen a play about a barber that kills people and then a baker bakes them into pies and then a play about warped ethics. I'm hoping for at least one play that has an uplifting view of humankind. Although, our last show is "Tis a Pity She's a Whore." So I don't know that I'm going to hold my breath.
Alright, I have to stop typing. My arms are sore!!
Peace out!
Last night I went to a play at the Actors' Conservatory Theater. The ACT is a theater that has given many actors their starts, including Annette Benning and Olympia Dukakis. The gays and I bought season tickets to the ACT this season. We didn't buy all of the shows, only five. The first show was Sweeney Todd. The second show last night was Speed the Plow written by David Mamet. David Mamet wrote Glengarry Glenross. He also wrote the Spanish Prisoner and Wag the Dog, among others. His dialogue is rapid fire and I'm fairly certain he breaks the record for the use of the f-word. The play is set in Hollywood about the movie industry. Extreme ambition that takes precedent over ones morals and ethics. So so far we have seen a play about a barber that kills people and then a baker bakes them into pies and then a play about warped ethics. I'm hoping for at least one play that has an uplifting view of humankind. Although, our last show is "Tis a Pity She's a Whore." So I don't know that I'm going to hold my breath.
Alright, I have to stop typing. My arms are sore!!
Peace out!
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
It's Todd's Birthday
Okay, it has been a while since I posted anything. So I had to post something. My friend Copey is in town and so I've been hanging out with him. We are having a great time.
Yesterday we got manis and pedis from the little nail shop down the street. Then we went to Kabuki spa to soak in the Japanese baths. And then last night we hung out with the gays at the hanukkah hotties' house. Today I worked and he went to Macworld. Where just this morning Steve Jobs had introduced the macbook air. It looks awesome. It fits inside a manilla envelope. And weighs 3 pounds. Seriously that is great. I'm currently typing this blog on my oh so heavy regular macbook. The width at the front of the computer is roughly the size of your index finger. That is assuming you don't have some freakishly oversized index finger. Then tonight after centering prayer we went to dinner to celebrate my birthday. Yes, I'm planning to celebrate for the entire month. We went to this new restaurant called Conduit. We had a really good meal. Some really outstanding components and some good to excellent components. But I will definitely go back.
So that is what I have been up to.
More soon.
Peace out!
Yesterday we got manis and pedis from the little nail shop down the street. Then we went to Kabuki spa to soak in the Japanese baths. And then last night we hung out with the gays at the hanukkah hotties' house. Today I worked and he went to Macworld. Where just this morning Steve Jobs had introduced the macbook air. It looks awesome. It fits inside a manilla envelope. And weighs 3 pounds. Seriously that is great. I'm currently typing this blog on my oh so heavy regular macbook. The width at the front of the computer is roughly the size of your index finger. That is assuming you don't have some freakishly oversized index finger. Then tonight after centering prayer we went to dinner to celebrate my birthday. Yes, I'm planning to celebrate for the entire month. We went to this new restaurant called Conduit. We had a really good meal. Some really outstanding components and some good to excellent components. But I will definitely go back.
So that is what I have been up to.
More soon.
Peace out!
Thursday, January 10, 2008
The Limits of Target
I found something that Target does not sell. As some of you regular blog readers might remember a few months ago I commented after attending a wet jock strap contest at a local bar that I had never worn a jock strap before. Not being much of an athlete and never having been required to wear one in hight school I had just never had what apparently was a somewhat universal male experience. And I said I probably would never wear one. Well I bought a new pair of workout pants after my old one got paint all over them. (How did they get covered in paint? Well when I was in Florida for Thanksgiving I painted some chairs for my grandmother and thus they were left unusable except for painting.) I also felt like the shorts I had been wearing for yoga/pilates rode up more than I liked. So anyway I bought pants like all the other middle-aged women wear to class. But I've worn them now and decided that really as a man they aren't quite as comfortable as I would like them to be, if you get my drift. So today I went to Target to buy a jock strap but I couldn't find one. So i'm going to have to go to the Sports Basement--a great sporting good store here in San Francisco. But I'm guessing it will cost more than I had hoped to spend which is why I went to Target to begin with. I didn't really want to spend a lot of money because if it turns out to feel weird then I won't have wasted a lot of money. Because it does not seem like the item one could take back. Or at least I hope it is not an item that people can take back. I'm also hoping there is some explanation on how to put the thing on or that it is so intuitive that I'll just be able to figure it out myself. I'm guessing it is fairly simple. I mean adolescent boys are required to wear them and I'm guessing they aren't asking their parents or their coach how to put the thing on.
I can't believe I just wrote a whole paragraph about a jock strap. I'm just going to pretend I wrote about Target.
Until tomorrow.
Peace out!
I can't believe I just wrote a whole paragraph about a jock strap. I'm just going to pretend I wrote about Target.
Until tomorrow.
Peace out!
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Is there no justice in the world?
I got a freakin' parking ticket. Right outside my church. So here is the thing I really was parking illegally sort of. You see there are sections of the city that are marked, one hour parking, two hour parking, four hour parking. And on this particular street literally across the intersection from where the church is there is a sign that says 2 hour parking only. That is where I was parking. However, in four and half years I have never ever been ticketed for this offense. Even though I have parked there for more than two hours on many many occasions. So therefore by never ticketing for this aren't they essentially saying this rule does not matter. Now I guess one could argue that lets say I steal every day from a convenience store but never get caught that the store is essentially saying this doesn't matter. And that would be absurd. But I think I have a viable case to at least have the ticket reduced to just a warning. Because this was a $50 ticket. And it seems to me that if you are going just start enforcing a law after many years you should give people some notice.
Now for those of you who know me well you are currently asking yourself two things (1) Is Dixie really going to exert the effort required to appeal a parking ticket? and (2) Dixie was at his office for more than two hours? Well those are both very good questions. The first one I can't fully answer yet and the second one is because I was hosting my associations board meeting so part of the time was spent putting out food and attending the meeting that lasted more than two hours. But seriously I was there from 8:45 until 4:45. There have been entire weeks where I didn't spend that much time in the office.
Alright, thats it for today. It's almost time for Project Runway.
Brian
Now for those of you who know me well you are currently asking yourself two things (1) Is Dixie really going to exert the effort required to appeal a parking ticket? and (2) Dixie was at his office for more than two hours? Well those are both very good questions. The first one I can't fully answer yet and the second one is because I was hosting my associations board meeting so part of the time was spent putting out food and attending the meeting that lasted more than two hours. But seriously I was there from 8:45 until 4:45. There have been entire weeks where I didn't spend that much time in the office.
Alright, thats it for today. It's almost time for Project Runway.
Brian
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
The Light Bright
It is another cold rainy day here. Now I know for those of you in places where there is snow and real winters this is not a big deal for you. But for us here in San Francisco this is a big deal. But I'll tell you what is even more of a big deal--my crossword puzzle pencil ran out of lead today. How sad is that. i loved that pencil. I'm not sure I'll be able to work a crossword puzzle until it is replaced. I mean I know I have other pencils but not a mechanical pencil with a really good eraser.
Now, I know i promised on my birthday to tell you what I learned in my 35th year and I didn't. And I'm sure many of you have been just chomping at the bit to know. Checking every day. Lying in bed sad that you just don't know what Dixie learned when he was 35. Well wait no longer my friends. Today is the day. Well maybe not the day but a day. I'm going to tell you at least a little of what I leaned the last year.
I really began to learn what it is I love doing the most and have loved doing for much of my life but I have lost as an adult. I loved decorating and creating space from early on. One of the things I really love doing in ministry is creating space, decorating worship space. I remembered this when I was in New Orleans and wanted to learn as much as I could about how to construct a home. The light bright was my favorite toy as a child. And it has been a guiding symbol for me this past year. My friend Mary Sue bought me one for Christmas last year and it has been sitting in my living room all year as a reminder of what I have always loved. Decorating.
But the light bright was also about me revealing light and color into darkness. I have hidden parts of me. This has always been particularly true in romantic relationships. I really would often hide parts of me. Is it any wonder that those relationships didn't work out. How could they? I wasn't fully there. Towards the end of the year I really feel like I at least began being fully present in relationships. Not romantic relationships, because I haven't really had any of those. But I was honest with family in a loving way but honestly.
It feels like this last year I started fully showing up. And what I would really like to be doing in the future is doing interior design but working with churches. Go in and ask churches that are in building projects what it is that the believe and then look at ways that their space can reflect that. This for me feels like a real vision. So I interviewed with the admissions office of the Art Institute this fall. Currently I can't afford to enroll in the interior design program but it is something I'm really interested in, because there are skills that I really want to work on.
What I think is interesting is that I spent 4 years after seminary looking for a church and I spent all the years in college and after and during seminary thinking being the pastor was my calling. That is was all that I wanted. When in reality I really love being a pastor. But I also know that being a pastor gives me credibility and respectability in my family like nothing else has. And I probably thought it would make me feel better about myself. And it definitely has given me respectability with my Dad. He didn't come to band concerts and piano recitals and school plays, but he tells people that his son is a pastor. So much of what I've chosen to do has to do with more about my self esteem than about who I am and what I really want to do.
I'm not sure all of this makes sense. And it kind of feels like I've just been rambling for a while. But this is where I am in self discovery.
And I think it is really great. I really feel like I have been stretched this year. It is appropriate that I have been doing yoga and pilates all year because that is all about stretching. But it also feels like I need to rest. So my sabbatical can't come soon enough.
So that's it. I'll continue talking about what I'm learning.
But until tomorrow.
Peace out!
Now, I know i promised on my birthday to tell you what I learned in my 35th year and I didn't. And I'm sure many of you have been just chomping at the bit to know. Checking every day. Lying in bed sad that you just don't know what Dixie learned when he was 35. Well wait no longer my friends. Today is the day. Well maybe not the day but a day. I'm going to tell you at least a little of what I leaned the last year.
I really began to learn what it is I love doing the most and have loved doing for much of my life but I have lost as an adult. I loved decorating and creating space from early on. One of the things I really love doing in ministry is creating space, decorating worship space. I remembered this when I was in New Orleans and wanted to learn as much as I could about how to construct a home. The light bright was my favorite toy as a child. And it has been a guiding symbol for me this past year. My friend Mary Sue bought me one for Christmas last year and it has been sitting in my living room all year as a reminder of what I have always loved. Decorating.
But the light bright was also about me revealing light and color into darkness. I have hidden parts of me. This has always been particularly true in romantic relationships. I really would often hide parts of me. Is it any wonder that those relationships didn't work out. How could they? I wasn't fully there. Towards the end of the year I really feel like I at least began being fully present in relationships. Not romantic relationships, because I haven't really had any of those. But I was honest with family in a loving way but honestly.
It feels like this last year I started fully showing up. And what I would really like to be doing in the future is doing interior design but working with churches. Go in and ask churches that are in building projects what it is that the believe and then look at ways that their space can reflect that. This for me feels like a real vision. So I interviewed with the admissions office of the Art Institute this fall. Currently I can't afford to enroll in the interior design program but it is something I'm really interested in, because there are skills that I really want to work on.
What I think is interesting is that I spent 4 years after seminary looking for a church and I spent all the years in college and after and during seminary thinking being the pastor was my calling. That is was all that I wanted. When in reality I really love being a pastor. But I also know that being a pastor gives me credibility and respectability in my family like nothing else has. And I probably thought it would make me feel better about myself. And it definitely has given me respectability with my Dad. He didn't come to band concerts and piano recitals and school plays, but he tells people that his son is a pastor. So much of what I've chosen to do has to do with more about my self esteem than about who I am and what I really want to do.
I'm not sure all of this makes sense. And it kind of feels like I've just been rambling for a while. But this is where I am in self discovery.
And I think it is really great. I really feel like I have been stretched this year. It is appropriate that I have been doing yoga and pilates all year because that is all about stretching. But it also feels like I need to rest. So my sabbatical can't come soon enough.
So that's it. I'll continue talking about what I'm learning.
But until tomorrow.
Peace out!
Sunday, January 6, 2008
A Haiku, I think
Sunday afternoon.
On couch, wrapped in a quilt.
Now this is living.
I think you can probably question whether or not wrapped is one syllable or two. But hey it's pretty darn close.
That's it for today. More tomorrow.
On couch, wrapped in a quilt.
Now this is living.
I think you can probably question whether or not wrapped is one syllable or two. But hey it's pretty darn close.
That's it for today. More tomorrow.
Friday, January 4, 2008
It's My Birthday!
I know I said I would write about what I learned in my 35th year today. However, I'm too tired. I got back late last night from Las Vegas and then my Grandmother called today at 5 AM. 5 AM!!!! She wanted to call me before she went to get her hair permed and she was afraid she would forget after she came home. I wish she had written a freakin' note. Then it was hard to go back to sleep because of the storm that is raging all around my house. It was some crazy winds and rains.
So anyway maybe tomorrow. But for today I'll just say that I had a blast in Las Vegas. It was fun, fun. We saw the Cirque Du Soleil show, O. It was fantastic. And I won $250. Yay! I won $100 on a slot machine and $150 playing Let It Ride, a card game. So basically what I won covered what I ate while I was in Vegas and most of the ticket for the show. So I pretty much broke even for the weekend. Woo Hoo!
So until tomorrow, Happy Birthday to me!
Peace out!
So anyway maybe tomorrow. But for today I'll just say that I had a blast in Las Vegas. It was fun, fun. We saw the Cirque Du Soleil show, O. It was fantastic. And I won $250. Yay! I won $100 on a slot machine and $150 playing Let It Ride, a card game. So basically what I won covered what I ate while I was in Vegas and most of the ticket for the show. So I pretty much broke even for the weekend. Woo Hoo!
So until tomorrow, Happy Birthday to me!
Peace out!
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
The Year in Review
Happy 2008!
As promised, here is a recap of my 2007. (I'm going to start at the beginning and hope that I get to the end before I have to go to the airport. I'm starting 2008 in Las Vegas. My friends Lee, Clark and I are headed to sin city to celebrate Clark's birthday today and mine on Friday. Wish me luck.)
So the year begin with a whimper. Litter ally a whimpering man in a corner at a New Years party hosted by my friend Alan and David, who now thanks to the blog are known as the Hanukkah Hotties. The whimperer in question had broken up with his partner of several years in 2006 so he was still a little maudlin. Who am I kidding? He was down right inconsolable. And it became sadder as the night progressed. And by sadder I mean more pathetic. I drove him home at about 1 AM. (Oh and I did not take him. He was not my date. Just another guest at the party. And by drove him home, I really mean that, I just drove his tired grief-stricken ass home.) And I have sympathy for him. I can imagine how a new years party after his previous year could be overwhelming. But here is the thing-- Stay Home!!!!
At the end of January I lead a mission team to work with Habitat for Humanity in New Orleans. It was a group of folks from my local Baptist Association. I was the youngest person by 30 years. Not an exaggeration. Me and a group of senior citizens. (Oh I almost forgot before the mission trip I attended MacWorld, GeekWorld as I like to call it, a gathering of mac and apple accessory vendors and the people that love them. It is also the site where Steve Jobs gives a keynote address and in 2007 introduced the i-phone. It was there that it became official, I am a mac lover. Once you go mac you don't go back. I drank the kool-aid. I became a convert. And by the end of the keynote, my smart phone that I had had for approximately 2 weeks sucked. I only had eyes for the iphone. And I can't wait until my t-mobile contract runs out an the iphone comes down a little more in price so that I can have one of my own.) The mission trip was great--in the sense that I was able to remember one of the things that I had loved all my life but really had forgotten as an adult. I love all things associated with building, creating space and design. Where many of the geriatrics in my group only wanted to learn one skill the whole week and just continue doing that over and over, I couldn't get enough. I wanted to learn everything. I'm planning to return in 2008. However, leading the group was hard. I learned that I like leading a group but I want a partner to do it with. Someone else who can be the adult. I thought it would be easier leading this team than when I worked with teenagers. Wrong. In many ways they behaved just as an adolescent. I often felt like I was baby sitting. One story in particular stands out. We were visiting with a family that had been displaced by the hurricane and had recently returned to their newly restored home. One of the women was telling her story to a group of us when one of our team said very loudly, "Brian, I'm hungry, let's go eat." At least with teenagers they will usually just grumble and pout behind your back. So while I'm planning to go back it will be solo.
In February, I attended an Enneagram training in North Georgia. The enneagram is a personality typing system similar to the Myers-Briggs. Not really, but that is the easiest way to describe it to people who don't know anything about it. Well anyway this was a five day training that often involved 14 to 16 hour days. It felt more cult like than educational. I got a lot of good information. But I also got a lot of over-sharing from essentially strangers. I learned in only five days that one woman had been raped, one man had been sexually abused, one woman attempted suicide, one woman's mother committed suicide, and my personal favorite, one woman had an affair with her best friend's husband. I was ready to go when it was all over.
I returned to San Francisco on Thursday, February 22, the day after Ash Wednesday. And on Friday, February 23, I learned that my twin brother had colo-rectal cancer. Lent had begun with a bang and it was not going to end anytime soon. The initial thought was that they would go in a few weeks later and do surgery to remove the tumor and then do chemo-therapy and radiation. However, when they did the surgery they learned that the tumor was much larger than they expected. So they closed him back up. He began chemotherapy six weeks later. He was doing chemotherapy every week with an oncologist close to where they live. This continued for four months. At that point a pet scan was done where they discovered that the tumors had continued to grown--at that point his liver was now grossly enlarged. The doctor gave him two options (1) Call in hospice or (2) try another much more aggressive treatment that the doctor was fairly confident would put my brother in the hospital because his body was so weak. (To me it sounded like would you like to die at home or at the hospital?) Thankfully my brother consulted with an oncology center in Tampa, about an hour and a half from their house. Moffett Hospital was able to give him more options. So he began going every two weeks for treatments in the late summer. At this point the tumors have stabilized, they aren't growing any more but they have not begun to shrink yet either. He is very weak and often in lots of pain. However, I have now seen him at Thanksgiving and Christmas and he looked better than he did in June when I was in Florida for a family wedding. (I'll get to the wedding in just a second.) He had gained a few pounds and his color looked a lot better. So my family continues to remain hopeful. Although, I'm finding it difficult to be hopeful. Part of my job feels like it is to notice what is really going on. And what I know is that 5% of people who are diagnosed at stage four, which is what my brother was diagnosed at, survive five years. That means 95% do not. So I'm counting on the rest of my family to be hopeful when I cannot be. For a while I was worried about my health since we are twins. Even though we are fraternal and I was having no symptoms, I was still afraid. But I had a colonoscopy in June and everything was clean and clear. The colonoscopy was not that bad--it was just a nice little nap. However, preparing for the colonoscopy was a bear. I took BART to my friend Shannon's office before the procedure. She was going to take me and then take me home. Well even though I was fairly confident that there could be nothing left in my body, if you know what I'm saying, I still had to go to the BART bathroom, which is approximately 3 blocks from my house. The whole situation has colored my entire year. Which is why the crap theme seemed especially appropriate for my Christmas card. It was true on so many levels.
One highlight came in March. I was in a musical, The Secret Garden. Being in a musical had been one of my goals for the year and it came true very early. I was in the chorus and it was only a concert version, meaning not fully staged. But it was a lot of fun. I hope to do more of it in the future. In March and April I also served on a search committee for a position for the Alliance of Baptist--that was fun and rewarding and I made some new friends. Then I attended the Alliance of Baptist Convocation in Washington DC . Where I had the best chili dog ever! Ever! Ben's Chili Bowl. You must go there the next time you are in the Nation's Capital. I mean it is gooo-ooood! You take the metro to U street and it is right across the street. Ahh, yeah!!
I'm going to wrap this up soon, because it has gone on for far too long. The summer brought a family "wedding." You'll notice that wedding is in quotes. That is because the couple was already married. They had been married the year before in Las Vegas on a roller coaster in the Stratosphere hotel. Yep, that's right, classy eh? But they still wanted to have a "real wedding." On the beach--in Florida--in the Summer, well May, but it was hot. Oh and she was five months pregnant. It was crazy. Then her Dad, my cousin's husband, a colonel in the army, tried to bully me right during the wedding rehearsal into saying "who gives this woman to be married." I don't say that. I won't ever say that. And I told him that. But we went back and forth. I was pissed. Finally, I told him I would think about what I could say and I came up with something which I thought was very nice. So I called him and told him what I would say and his response was "adequate." No that is what he said "adequate." #@%&-hole. So that was fun;) I started blogging in July. Also my sister and niece visited over the summer. I was glad that they were here. But they are hard to host. Neither would eat anything I suggested or offered. One night I ordered Chinese food--they like Chinese food. So I asked them what they wanted and they said shrimp fried rice and bourbon chicken. First of all shrimp fried rice is the leftovers of the chinese world, but second bourbon chicken? Bourbon is not Chinese. It is made in Kentucky. But apparently throughout the country on Chinese menus is something called Bourbon Chicken. But we did not have it here where actual Chinese people live. So I was kind of glad when they went back home, but it was nice to have them visit.
At the end of the summer I gathered with my buddies from the First Parish Project. We met at a retreat center in Northern California. I can't even begin to tell you how great that was.
The fall and winter has been filled with two trips to Florida for Thanksgiving and Christmas. The book Before the Amen was published in November. This is a worship resource that I had a prayer published in. Not only am I published I'm actually in an index. (Dixon, Brian 39) Yay! I applied for a sabbatical grant that I did not get, but I'm still taking a sabbatical beginning on March 1--only two months away. I wish it began tomorrow.
So that is those are the general high-lights and low-lights of 2007. I am very tired. And in much need of the rest that my sabbatical will hopefully bring. I'll spend time on Friday, my 36th birthday, reflecting on what I have learned about myself in my 35th year.
Know that I'll continue blogging through the next year to keep you all in the zany loop of my life. And I look forward to hearing and seeing many of you.
Peace out!
As promised, here is a recap of my 2007. (I'm going to start at the beginning and hope that I get to the end before I have to go to the airport. I'm starting 2008 in Las Vegas. My friends Lee, Clark and I are headed to sin city to celebrate Clark's birthday today and mine on Friday. Wish me luck.)
So the year begin with a whimper. Litter ally a whimpering man in a corner at a New Years party hosted by my friend Alan and David, who now thanks to the blog are known as the Hanukkah Hotties. The whimperer in question had broken up with his partner of several years in 2006 so he was still a little maudlin. Who am I kidding? He was down right inconsolable. And it became sadder as the night progressed. And by sadder I mean more pathetic. I drove him home at about 1 AM. (Oh and I did not take him. He was not my date. Just another guest at the party. And by drove him home, I really mean that, I just drove his tired grief-stricken ass home.) And I have sympathy for him. I can imagine how a new years party after his previous year could be overwhelming. But here is the thing-- Stay Home!!!!
At the end of January I lead a mission team to work with Habitat for Humanity in New Orleans. It was a group of folks from my local Baptist Association. I was the youngest person by 30 years. Not an exaggeration. Me and a group of senior citizens. (Oh I almost forgot before the mission trip I attended MacWorld, GeekWorld as I like to call it, a gathering of mac and apple accessory vendors and the people that love them. It is also the site where Steve Jobs gives a keynote address and in 2007 introduced the i-phone. It was there that it became official, I am a mac lover. Once you go mac you don't go back. I drank the kool-aid. I became a convert. And by the end of the keynote, my smart phone that I had had for approximately 2 weeks sucked. I only had eyes for the iphone. And I can't wait until my t-mobile contract runs out an the iphone comes down a little more in price so that I can have one of my own.) The mission trip was great--in the sense that I was able to remember one of the things that I had loved all my life but really had forgotten as an adult. I love all things associated with building, creating space and design. Where many of the geriatrics in my group only wanted to learn one skill the whole week and just continue doing that over and over, I couldn't get enough. I wanted to learn everything. I'm planning to return in 2008. However, leading the group was hard. I learned that I like leading a group but I want a partner to do it with. Someone else who can be the adult. I thought it would be easier leading this team than when I worked with teenagers. Wrong. In many ways they behaved just as an adolescent. I often felt like I was baby sitting. One story in particular stands out. We were visiting with a family that had been displaced by the hurricane and had recently returned to their newly restored home. One of the women was telling her story to a group of us when one of our team said very loudly, "Brian, I'm hungry, let's go eat." At least with teenagers they will usually just grumble and pout behind your back. So while I'm planning to go back it will be solo.
In February, I attended an Enneagram training in North Georgia. The enneagram is a personality typing system similar to the Myers-Briggs. Not really, but that is the easiest way to describe it to people who don't know anything about it. Well anyway this was a five day training that often involved 14 to 16 hour days. It felt more cult like than educational. I got a lot of good information. But I also got a lot of over-sharing from essentially strangers. I learned in only five days that one woman had been raped, one man had been sexually abused, one woman attempted suicide, one woman's mother committed suicide, and my personal favorite, one woman had an affair with her best friend's husband. I was ready to go when it was all over.
I returned to San Francisco on Thursday, February 22, the day after Ash Wednesday. And on Friday, February 23, I learned that my twin brother had colo-rectal cancer. Lent had begun with a bang and it was not going to end anytime soon. The initial thought was that they would go in a few weeks later and do surgery to remove the tumor and then do chemo-therapy and radiation. However, when they did the surgery they learned that the tumor was much larger than they expected. So they closed him back up. He began chemotherapy six weeks later. He was doing chemotherapy every week with an oncologist close to where they live. This continued for four months. At that point a pet scan was done where they discovered that the tumors had continued to grown--at that point his liver was now grossly enlarged. The doctor gave him two options (1) Call in hospice or (2) try another much more aggressive treatment that the doctor was fairly confident would put my brother in the hospital because his body was so weak. (To me it sounded like would you like to die at home or at the hospital?) Thankfully my brother consulted with an oncology center in Tampa, about an hour and a half from their house. Moffett Hospital was able to give him more options. So he began going every two weeks for treatments in the late summer. At this point the tumors have stabilized, they aren't growing any more but they have not begun to shrink yet either. He is very weak and often in lots of pain. However, I have now seen him at Thanksgiving and Christmas and he looked better than he did in June when I was in Florida for a family wedding. (I'll get to the wedding in just a second.) He had gained a few pounds and his color looked a lot better. So my family continues to remain hopeful. Although, I'm finding it difficult to be hopeful. Part of my job feels like it is to notice what is really going on. And what I know is that 5% of people who are diagnosed at stage four, which is what my brother was diagnosed at, survive five years. That means 95% do not. So I'm counting on the rest of my family to be hopeful when I cannot be. For a while I was worried about my health since we are twins. Even though we are fraternal and I was having no symptoms, I was still afraid. But I had a colonoscopy in June and everything was clean and clear. The colonoscopy was not that bad--it was just a nice little nap. However, preparing for the colonoscopy was a bear. I took BART to my friend Shannon's office before the procedure. She was going to take me and then take me home. Well even though I was fairly confident that there could be nothing left in my body, if you know what I'm saying, I still had to go to the BART bathroom, which is approximately 3 blocks from my house. The whole situation has colored my entire year. Which is why the crap theme seemed especially appropriate for my Christmas card. It was true on so many levels.
One highlight came in March. I was in a musical, The Secret Garden. Being in a musical had been one of my goals for the year and it came true very early. I was in the chorus and it was only a concert version, meaning not fully staged. But it was a lot of fun. I hope to do more of it in the future. In March and April I also served on a search committee for a position for the Alliance of Baptist--that was fun and rewarding and I made some new friends. Then I attended the Alliance of Baptist Convocation in Washington DC . Where I had the best chili dog ever! Ever! Ben's Chili Bowl. You must go there the next time you are in the Nation's Capital. I mean it is gooo-ooood! You take the metro to U street and it is right across the street. Ahh, yeah!!
I'm going to wrap this up soon, because it has gone on for far too long. The summer brought a family "wedding." You'll notice that wedding is in quotes. That is because the couple was already married. They had been married the year before in Las Vegas on a roller coaster in the Stratosphere hotel. Yep, that's right, classy eh? But they still wanted to have a "real wedding." On the beach--in Florida--in the Summer, well May, but it was hot. Oh and she was five months pregnant. It was crazy. Then her Dad, my cousin's husband, a colonel in the army, tried to bully me right during the wedding rehearsal into saying "who gives this woman to be married." I don't say that. I won't ever say that. And I told him that. But we went back and forth. I was pissed. Finally, I told him I would think about what I could say and I came up with something which I thought was very nice. So I called him and told him what I would say and his response was "adequate." No that is what he said "adequate." #@%&-hole. So that was fun;) I started blogging in July. Also my sister and niece visited over the summer. I was glad that they were here. But they are hard to host. Neither would eat anything I suggested or offered. One night I ordered Chinese food--they like Chinese food. So I asked them what they wanted and they said shrimp fried rice and bourbon chicken. First of all shrimp fried rice is the leftovers of the chinese world, but second bourbon chicken? Bourbon is not Chinese. It is made in Kentucky. But apparently throughout the country on Chinese menus is something called Bourbon Chicken. But we did not have it here where actual Chinese people live. So I was kind of glad when they went back home, but it was nice to have them visit.
At the end of the summer I gathered with my buddies from the First Parish Project. We met at a retreat center in Northern California. I can't even begin to tell you how great that was.
The fall and winter has been filled with two trips to Florida for Thanksgiving and Christmas. The book Before the Amen was published in November. This is a worship resource that I had a prayer published in. Not only am I published I'm actually in an index. (Dixon, Brian 39) Yay! I applied for a sabbatical grant that I did not get, but I'm still taking a sabbatical beginning on March 1--only two months away. I wish it began tomorrow.
So that is those are the general high-lights and low-lights of 2007. I am very tired. And in much need of the rest that my sabbatical will hopefully bring. I'll spend time on Friday, my 36th birthday, reflecting on what I have learned about myself in my 35th year.
Know that I'll continue blogging through the next year to keep you all in the zany loop of my life. And I look forward to hearing and seeing many of you.
Peace out!
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