Yesterday was my brother's funeral. Just about everyone who came in for the funeral have gone home. I'll have lots to share over the next few posts. I'm heading to New Orleans tomorrow for the weekend and then I'll return here on Sunday night for a week--I had already scheduled to be here next week.
But I just wanted to share a few things I've heard.
First from my grandmother. There is a song from the musical Avenue Q called "Everyone is a little bit racist." Well that is true for my grandmother. A few days ago her 72 year old niece offered her some coffee to which she responded "no it will turn me black." Apparently this is something that they both heard as children. Then her sister was telling a story about a wreck that she witnessed in her front yard, where the driver climbed out of the driver's seat and switched with the passenger who was less drunk than the driver. My grandmother asked "Were they black or white?" How is that information at all important?
Then my father. My sister-in-law is Catholic and is raising the children as Catholics. This has been a big deal for my Dad. There was this controversy because my s-in-l considered having the funeral at her Church. Then the meal after the funeral My Dad really did not want it to be at my s-in-l's church but instead at he and my mother's church. THE CHURCHES ARE RIGHT NEXT DOOR TO ONE ANOTHER--IMMEDIATELY NEXT DOOR!!! But anyway not the point of the story just background. A pastor friend of our families came from North Carolina to do the funeral. The day before the funeral my Dad was telling him that Shirley was Catholic but she was a Christian Catholic. What?!?!?
Crazy!!!!
I'm glad to be going to be with people who think a little bit differently.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Thursday, March 20, 2008
It ain't over until its over
My brother is still alive, or at least he is still partially breathing. It is 9:15 PM on Thursday night.
In my last post I talked about the possibility that by Thursday he would probably need to go to a hospice center when he got to the point where he could no longer walk. Well that moment came on Tuesday morning. He went to the Good Shepherd Hospice Center at 4:10 on Tuesday afternoon. It was really hard to watch him ride off in the back of a medical transport van--he was leaving his home for the last time. He has been at Good Shepherd ever since.
I spent the night Tuesday night along with my Mother who really hasn't left his side much at all. (Good news about my mother she will not need surgery for her shoulder.) I didn't get any sleep that night; however, my mother who was on pain killers and muscle relaxers slept like a baby. My brother was very restless that night, largely as a result of his kidneys. They had begun to fail and he would have the urge to urinate and try and get out of bed but then when the nurse would come with a portable urinal he was unable to produce anything. They could tell that he had liquid in his bladder but was unable to release it. They wanted to put in a catheter but my mother wanted to wait until my sister-in-law could give the okay. That meant we would have to wait until 5:30 in the morning--the time I knew she would be waking up. It also meant a very long night. But my mother would wake up when my brother woke up and then would sit back down in the recliner and go right back to sleep. What with the screamers in the rooms next door, the plastic fold out mattress I was sleeping on, my brother in the hospital bed next to me, and my mothers snoring I got no sleep.
I slept some yesterday. Then I went to the center last night for a little while and then again this morning. This afternoon I spent the afternoon helping an aunt clean my brother and sister-in-law's house. About 4 this afternoon I got a call from my sister saying that I should come back to the hospice center. I knew what that meant. When I got there they told me the nurse had said based on his heart rate and his breathing pattern he would probably die within the hour. That was 5 hours ago. I cried a lot. Talked to him. Stroked his hands and held them. I told him to not be afraid. People came to say goodbye. (People, by the way, who annoyed the hell out of me. Not because they were annoying, just that I didn't want them to be there. I didn't know them.) My Dad didn't want to come up. He is really having a hard time. My brother was his favorite. I don't say that in a jealous sort of way, nor to imply that my Dad doesn't love my sister and I. We just know they were incredibly close. They had a lot in common. So my Dad is not just losing his son, which a parent shouldn't have to do, but he is also losing a buddy, a fishing pal. But we thought perhaps he was waiting for my Dad. So I told him "Daddy isn't coming." But then my mother finally said he is going to have to come but he wont. So we called him and had him talk to Michael. And still he is here. We left the room at one point thinking maybe that is what he was waiting for. But still he is here. So who knows what he is hanging on to.
My mother and her sister, Carol, are spending the night tonight--my mother thinks she will only spend part of the night. But eventually I and my sister-in-law had to leave. We were whipped. We had had enough. My sister-in-law will have to go back when he dies, but I said I probably wouldn't. I feel like I let him go. It was difficult. I'll never understand it. I didn't want to do it, but I had to. I couldn't cling to him. And I believe that when he dies he will return to God, to the source of all peace and joy and love. I don't know what that looks like. It might be heaven--I know that is important to many people, the idea that there is a place. I would sort of like to see him again. But I don't know if I need to believe in that place. But what I do know for certain is that he will return to to that great love and peace. And that is comforting. It doesn't give it any more sense nor does it make it any easier. It just gives me some comfort.
So that is it. i'll write again about the time when he does finally die. But for tonight, this is enough.
Peace out
In my last post I talked about the possibility that by Thursday he would probably need to go to a hospice center when he got to the point where he could no longer walk. Well that moment came on Tuesday morning. He went to the Good Shepherd Hospice Center at 4:10 on Tuesday afternoon. It was really hard to watch him ride off in the back of a medical transport van--he was leaving his home for the last time. He has been at Good Shepherd ever since.
I spent the night Tuesday night along with my Mother who really hasn't left his side much at all. (Good news about my mother she will not need surgery for her shoulder.) I didn't get any sleep that night; however, my mother who was on pain killers and muscle relaxers slept like a baby. My brother was very restless that night, largely as a result of his kidneys. They had begun to fail and he would have the urge to urinate and try and get out of bed but then when the nurse would come with a portable urinal he was unable to produce anything. They could tell that he had liquid in his bladder but was unable to release it. They wanted to put in a catheter but my mother wanted to wait until my sister-in-law could give the okay. That meant we would have to wait until 5:30 in the morning--the time I knew she would be waking up. It also meant a very long night. But my mother would wake up when my brother woke up and then would sit back down in the recliner and go right back to sleep. What with the screamers in the rooms next door, the plastic fold out mattress I was sleeping on, my brother in the hospital bed next to me, and my mothers snoring I got no sleep.
I slept some yesterday. Then I went to the center last night for a little while and then again this morning. This afternoon I spent the afternoon helping an aunt clean my brother and sister-in-law's house. About 4 this afternoon I got a call from my sister saying that I should come back to the hospice center. I knew what that meant. When I got there they told me the nurse had said based on his heart rate and his breathing pattern he would probably die within the hour. That was 5 hours ago. I cried a lot. Talked to him. Stroked his hands and held them. I told him to not be afraid. People came to say goodbye. (People, by the way, who annoyed the hell out of me. Not because they were annoying, just that I didn't want them to be there. I didn't know them.) My Dad didn't want to come up. He is really having a hard time. My brother was his favorite. I don't say that in a jealous sort of way, nor to imply that my Dad doesn't love my sister and I. We just know they were incredibly close. They had a lot in common. So my Dad is not just losing his son, which a parent shouldn't have to do, but he is also losing a buddy, a fishing pal. But we thought perhaps he was waiting for my Dad. So I told him "Daddy isn't coming." But then my mother finally said he is going to have to come but he wont. So we called him and had him talk to Michael. And still he is here. We left the room at one point thinking maybe that is what he was waiting for. But still he is here. So who knows what he is hanging on to.
My mother and her sister, Carol, are spending the night tonight--my mother thinks she will only spend part of the night. But eventually I and my sister-in-law had to leave. We were whipped. We had had enough. My sister-in-law will have to go back when he dies, but I said I probably wouldn't. I feel like I let him go. It was difficult. I'll never understand it. I didn't want to do it, but I had to. I couldn't cling to him. And I believe that when he dies he will return to God, to the source of all peace and joy and love. I don't know what that looks like. It might be heaven--I know that is important to many people, the idea that there is a place. I would sort of like to see him again. But I don't know if I need to believe in that place. But what I do know for certain is that he will return to to that great love and peace. And that is comforting. It doesn't give it any more sense nor does it make it any easier. It just gives me some comfort.
So that is it. i'll write again about the time when he does finally die. But for tonight, this is enough.
Peace out
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Warning I drop the f-bomb
When it rains it fucking pours!!!!
I landed in Florida yesterday. I hadn't slept well the night before and then got up at 5 AM to get the airport. Then the security line was longer than I've ever seen it at the Atlanta airport. I basically had to really scurry to get to the plane. I was one of the last people to board. I had planned to stop at the Chick-Fila for a chicken biscuit but that was not to be. I got one in the Orlando airport instead.
My mother and my sister were waiting for me. I took my mother back to work and then met my sister at my brother's house. He looks worse than my imagination would ever allow me to think. If you imagine a halloween skeleton with skin or Skeletor from what was the cartoon He-Man, that is what he looks like. Literally skin hanging off bone. When he gets up to go to the bathroom-- he hasn't eaten in over a week so why he is going to the bathroom I don't know--someone has to hold up his pants so that they won't fall down while he is walking to the bathroom. He has begun using my grandmother's walker that she used after she broke her hip last year. He sleeps most of the day, his eyelids often partially open with his eyes rolled back. Hospice brought out a hospital bed yesterday so that hopefully he might be more comfortable--as if that is even possible. The hospice nurse was out yesterday because he was in so much pain. So they up his pain medication. This means that he will be even less alert than he is now, and now he isn't very alert. The nurse said that she didn't think it would be very much longer. She also said that when it gets to the point that he can no longer walk by himself, probably by Thursday, then they should get him a bed at the hospice facility. This is something that my brother doesn't want, but the nurse thinks it will better for the kids if they don't have to see their father like that.
My sister-in-law went to a funeral home yesterday to make arrangement for his funeral and burial. No 35 year should have to do that. The cost is approximately $14000. What a racket?!?
At one point yesterday, I had gone over to my parents house next door and was headed back to my brother's house, but I had to sit down on my Dad's boat trailer to sob for a little while. My Dad came out of the house and asked me if I was alright to which I responded "no." I am not alright. No one is alright. This is harder than I ever thought it would be. I want it to just be over and I don't want him to die. It is a paradox.
Finally we were eating dinner on the back porch last night and my mother had my niece in her lap. The porch was just recently finished and it doesn't have a railing. Well my mother slid her chair back and she and my niece fell off the porch. So at 1 am my Dad took her to the emergency room because her should was still hurting. Turns out she broke her shoulder in two places and will need to see a specialist about possibly putting in a plate so that it will heal properly. Oh, and I get hear yesterday to learn my mother and my dad have gotten themselves into some credit trouble. Apparently they have been buying groceries for themselves and my brother's family. But she has always spent more with credit cards than she should have. So on top of everything else my dad gave his boat to the bank yesterday to sell and to pay off the loan on the boat. Now in reality my Dad doesn't need the size boat he had. However, for him to have to lose one more thing, to have to see his boat towed off by the bank, makes things even worse. Had I known they were in trouble I could have paid the $198/mo for him to keep the damn boat just a little bit longer.
So that is it. I have to stop now because I have to go pick up my mother and then take my sister-in-laws car to the shop.
I landed in Florida yesterday. I hadn't slept well the night before and then got up at 5 AM to get the airport. Then the security line was longer than I've ever seen it at the Atlanta airport. I basically had to really scurry to get to the plane. I was one of the last people to board. I had planned to stop at the Chick-Fila for a chicken biscuit but that was not to be. I got one in the Orlando airport instead.
My mother and my sister were waiting for me. I took my mother back to work and then met my sister at my brother's house. He looks worse than my imagination would ever allow me to think. If you imagine a halloween skeleton with skin or Skeletor from what was the cartoon He-Man, that is what he looks like. Literally skin hanging off bone. When he gets up to go to the bathroom-- he hasn't eaten in over a week so why he is going to the bathroom I don't know--someone has to hold up his pants so that they won't fall down while he is walking to the bathroom. He has begun using my grandmother's walker that she used after she broke her hip last year. He sleeps most of the day, his eyelids often partially open with his eyes rolled back. Hospice brought out a hospital bed yesterday so that hopefully he might be more comfortable--as if that is even possible. The hospice nurse was out yesterday because he was in so much pain. So they up his pain medication. This means that he will be even less alert than he is now, and now he isn't very alert. The nurse said that she didn't think it would be very much longer. She also said that when it gets to the point that he can no longer walk by himself, probably by Thursday, then they should get him a bed at the hospice facility. This is something that my brother doesn't want, but the nurse thinks it will better for the kids if they don't have to see their father like that.
My sister-in-law went to a funeral home yesterday to make arrangement for his funeral and burial. No 35 year should have to do that. The cost is approximately $14000. What a racket?!?
At one point yesterday, I had gone over to my parents house next door and was headed back to my brother's house, but I had to sit down on my Dad's boat trailer to sob for a little while. My Dad came out of the house and asked me if I was alright to which I responded "no." I am not alright. No one is alright. This is harder than I ever thought it would be. I want it to just be over and I don't want him to die. It is a paradox.
Finally we were eating dinner on the back porch last night and my mother had my niece in her lap. The porch was just recently finished and it doesn't have a railing. Well my mother slid her chair back and she and my niece fell off the porch. So at 1 am my Dad took her to the emergency room because her should was still hurting. Turns out she broke her shoulder in two places and will need to see a specialist about possibly putting in a plate so that it will heal properly. Oh, and I get hear yesterday to learn my mother and my dad have gotten themselves into some credit trouble. Apparently they have been buying groceries for themselves and my brother's family. But she has always spent more with credit cards than she should have. So on top of everything else my dad gave his boat to the bank yesterday to sell and to pay off the loan on the boat. Now in reality my Dad doesn't need the size boat he had. However, for him to have to lose one more thing, to have to see his boat towed off by the bank, makes things even worse. Had I known they were in trouble I could have paid the $198/mo for him to keep the damn boat just a little bit longer.
So that is it. I have to stop now because I have to go pick up my mother and then take my sister-in-laws car to the shop.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Lessons in letting go
So I did make it to Atlanta, albeit it a day later than planned. As many of you may know the first tornado to hit downtown Atlanta hit on Friday night and heavy storms on Saturday followed. I had planned to come on Saturday evening but decided to wait until this morning to drive down. So I got up early and made the short 2 and a half hour trip, arriving in plenty of time to worship at Oakhurst. Where it was wonderful to be and to get so many hugs and words of support. It was just what I needed before I wade knee deep into whatever waters of sadness and grief I'm about to dive into.
I am currently at my friend Paul and Melanie's and will be here through the night. Assuming everything goes the way it is supposed to (Which who knows what that means any more) I'll fly tomorrow to Orlando arriving at 8:40 AM.
As of last night my brother is still alive. (And I'm assuming since I haven't heard otherwise he is still alive right now.) I talked to my mother last night and she said that he is scared--something that I can certainly understand. But I wander if the fear is what is keeping him. Or perhaps he is waiting on me to get there. Tomorrow will be a week since he last ate so I can't imagine he can go much longer.
Your well wishes have been really appreciated. I am so grateful to have the access of this blog to my extended community.
I'll continue to update as things progress.
Peace out!
I am currently at my friend Paul and Melanie's and will be here through the night. Assuming everything goes the way it is supposed to (Which who knows what that means any more) I'll fly tomorrow to Orlando arriving at 8:40 AM.
As of last night my brother is still alive. (And I'm assuming since I haven't heard otherwise he is still alive right now.) I talked to my mother last night and she said that he is scared--something that I can certainly understand. But I wander if the fear is what is keeping him. Or perhaps he is waiting on me to get there. Tomorrow will be a week since he last ate so I can't imagine he can go much longer.
Your well wishes have been really appreciated. I am so grateful to have the access of this blog to my extended community.
I'll continue to update as things progress.
Peace out!
Friday, March 14, 2008
Quick Update
I'm still in Tennessee--but I have altered my schedule. I will leave here on Saturday, drive back to Atlanta, spend Sunday in Atlanta, and then fly to Florida on Monday.
My brother has stopped eating and only drinks maybe a cup of liquid a day. He is sleeping most of the day now. I suspect that his death may happen in the next week or so, possibly sooner. I'm preparing myself for the possibility that I may not make it to Florida before he dies.
I feel good about my decision to stay here and then worship at Oakhurst in Atlanta on Sunday and I think I'll still be okay with that decision if my brother dies before I arrive. I don't feel like there are things I need to say to him.
He is concerned about my father--my dad had a heart attack and bypass surgery about 5 years ago. He apparently told my sister that she should get someone to come talk to my Dad. I'm assuming he meant their pastor.
Right now as I'm writing this there are bluebirds and red birds right outside the window. Somehow I feel like that is a sign for me.
I've e-mailed my landlord and asked him to ship me my suit. At one point as I was packing I thought I should pack my suit. But then either out of hope or ignorance I decided not too. That decision I'm regretting. But for whatever reason I didn't--so that is that. And if it doesn't make it in time I'll wear what I brought with me.
This post is rambling, but it also is what it is.
My brother has stopped eating and only drinks maybe a cup of liquid a day. He is sleeping most of the day now. I suspect that his death may happen in the next week or so, possibly sooner. I'm preparing myself for the possibility that I may not make it to Florida before he dies.
I feel good about my decision to stay here and then worship at Oakhurst in Atlanta on Sunday and I think I'll still be okay with that decision if my brother dies before I arrive. I don't feel like there are things I need to say to him.
He is concerned about my father--my dad had a heart attack and bypass surgery about 5 years ago. He apparently told my sister that she should get someone to come talk to my Dad. I'm assuming he meant their pastor.
Right now as I'm writing this there are bluebirds and red birds right outside the window. Somehow I feel like that is a sign for me.
I've e-mailed my landlord and asked him to ship me my suit. At one point as I was packing I thought I should pack my suit. But then either out of hope or ignorance I decided not too. That decision I'm regretting. But for whatever reason I didn't--so that is that. And if it doesn't make it in time I'll wear what I brought with me.
This post is rambling, but it also is what it is.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
So far, so crappy!
Okay, this has started out to be a pretty weird sabbatical. Last week I was in San Francisco with my friends Mark and Mary Sue. They are expecting twins--Mary Sue had been in the hospital for 8 weeks. So the first 3 days I was in SD I hung out at the hospital. Then on Wednesday afternoon she got to come home. So on Thursday I helped her get settled and tried to help straighten up the house after a long 2 months. On Friday I helped paint the baby's room.
I arrived in Tennessee yesterday to learn that my friend Dave and Tracy's oldest son four year old Noah has the flu. Now that would be bad enough but their youngest son, Wesley has cystic fibrosis so the flu is particularly dangerous for him. Dave and Tracy were told that the whole family should go on Tamiflu as a protective measure. Well guess who is a part of the family this week? That's right me. I am currently taking Tamiflu as well. Yep, I'm taking medication for something I don't even have.
Today I got a call from my mother saying that they halted treatment on my brother yesterday and that they spoke with hospice today. We'll find out tomorrow what this prognosis means, i.e. how long he is expected to live.
I have to say that while I've enjoyed being with some of the dearest people in my life, so far my sabbatical has sucked!!!!!
And I'm guessing it is going to get a whole lot worse before it gets better.
I arrived in Tennessee yesterday to learn that my friend Dave and Tracy's oldest son four year old Noah has the flu. Now that would be bad enough but their youngest son, Wesley has cystic fibrosis so the flu is particularly dangerous for him. Dave and Tracy were told that the whole family should go on Tamiflu as a protective measure. Well guess who is a part of the family this week? That's right me. I am currently taking Tamiflu as well. Yep, I'm taking medication for something I don't even have.
Today I got a call from my mother saying that they halted treatment on my brother yesterday and that they spoke with hospice today. We'll find out tomorrow what this prognosis means, i.e. how long he is expected to live.
I have to say that while I've enjoyed being with some of the dearest people in my life, so far my sabbatical has sucked!!!!!
And I'm guessing it is going to get a whole lot worse before it gets better.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Jesus! Jesus is everywhere!
I'm now in Tennessee. I flew into Atlanta last night and then drove up to my friend's, Tracy and Dave's, house in Engelwood, Tennessee. On the way up here I was struck by how much protestantism or the Christian Church is simply part of the ethos of the South. This isn't a new piece of knowledge for me, but living in San Francisco and California I tend to forget. All along the road, a small highway that goes from North Georgia into Tennessee, I saw all sorts of signs that reinforced this. First there were the church signs. Here are my favorite:
(1) Don't wait until you are flat on your back to look up to God
(2) Man's ways are viewed by God
and the absolute favorite
(3) Warning Exposure to the Son May Prevent Burning
(Nice, eh?)
Then there were the businesses that had subtle or maybe not so subtle religious messages. There was the Amen tractors and building trailers and Jabez Inc. I don't even know what they do at Jabez Inc. There was also the business that had out front a big stone cross that said on it "Get Right With God."
There was also in a field "John 3:16" and "Jesus" spelled out with large plumbing pipe.
Then there was a sign that I'm not quite sure what it's intent was and that was a giant billboard with a picture of this woman--clearly a Glamour Shot--and beside the picture it said "Jesus Healed My Wife dot Com" Huh?!? (Okay I just visited the website. For real Ya'll got to visit this website. You also get to the see the picture of Patsy, the wife in question.)
I'm really curious if any one ever is moved to join a church or "get right with God" based on any of these things? Personally, its enough to make me almost unjoin a church.
(1) Don't wait until you are flat on your back to look up to God
(2) Man's ways are viewed by God
and the absolute favorite
(3) Warning Exposure to the Son May Prevent Burning
(Nice, eh?)
Then there were the businesses that had subtle or maybe not so subtle religious messages. There was the Amen tractors and building trailers and Jabez Inc. I don't even know what they do at Jabez Inc. There was also the business that had out front a big stone cross that said on it "Get Right With God."
There was also in a field "John 3:16" and "Jesus" spelled out with large plumbing pipe.
Then there was a sign that I'm not quite sure what it's intent was and that was a giant billboard with a picture of this woman--clearly a Glamour Shot--and beside the picture it said "Jesus Healed My Wife dot Com" Huh?!? (Okay I just visited the website. For real Ya'll got to visit this website. You also get to the see the picture of Patsy, the wife in question.)
I'm really curious if any one ever is moved to join a church or "get right with God" based on any of these things? Personally, its enough to make me almost unjoin a church.
Friday, March 7, 2008
Airport Looky-Loo
Okay so I'm sitting at the San Diego airport heading back to the house after a week with my friends Mark and Mary Sue. My flight is delayed an hour because of weather somewhere. So instead of an hour wait I currently have a two hour wait. But that could all change. So I thought I'd sign on to the free wi-fi at the San Diego International Airport and post to the blog. (Why doesn't every airport have free wi-fi.) So anyway the topic of the post is simply a list of the sights, sounds and smells at the airport, specifically around gate 9, because I'm not walking around.
(1) A man in shorts and wearing dark socks. I don't know how anyone still does this.
(2) A distinguished older man talking on his cell phone while wearing sunglasses. Why is he wearing his sunglasses inside? "I wear my sunglass at night..."
(3) Pizzaria Uno--that's a smell. It smells so tasty, I might just have to get myself a slice.
(4) Hottie in a steel grey t-shirt to match his sultry steely blue eyes.
(5) An older Asian man who has fallen asleep in his chair. It's 5:00 in the afternoon. Unless he came from Asia there is just no excuse for that.
(6) Did I mention Pizzaria Uno?
(7) Another hottie carrying a Pizzaria Uno box while talking on his telephone and not at all keeping an eye on his pizza box.
(8) Angry hottie because someone sitting right next to him has started eating his pizza.
(9) Southwest airlines employee asking me to please give the man back his pizza.
I think it might be a love connection.
Peace out!
(1) A man in shorts and wearing dark socks. I don't know how anyone still does this.
(2) A distinguished older man talking on his cell phone while wearing sunglasses. Why is he wearing his sunglasses inside? "I wear my sunglass at night..."
(3) Pizzaria Uno--that's a smell. It smells so tasty, I might just have to get myself a slice.
(4) Hottie in a steel grey t-shirt to match his sultry steely blue eyes.
(5) An older Asian man who has fallen asleep in his chair. It's 5:00 in the afternoon. Unless he came from Asia there is just no excuse for that.
(6) Did I mention Pizzaria Uno?
(7) Another hottie carrying a Pizzaria Uno box while talking on his telephone and not at all keeping an eye on his pizza box.
(8) Angry hottie because someone sitting right next to him has started eating his pizza.
(9) Southwest airlines employee asking me to please give the man back his pizza.
I think it might be a love connection.
Peace out!
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
You touched me where?
I know it has been several days since I last posted. i have been in San Diego since Monday morning. A friend has been in the hospital so I've been spending most of my time there. However, she came home this afternoon. And her coming home this afternoon is what brought about my the incident for my post today. She is still on bed rest but she also needed some medication. So I went to the Long Drugs. As I went in I past a mother and her son, approximately 3 years old. The little boy was trying to go in through the out door and so the mother let me pass by and go on in. I walked up to the pharmacist counter and i was standing there hunched over filling out the information form when suddenly I felt a pair of little hands rubbing my butt cheeks. I turned around and it was the little boy. I guffawed out loud. Meanwhile the mother horrified. Then she had to try and explain to the little boy that even though I was laughing and then when she realized I was not going to get angry and sew she was laughing that it was not funny to touch someone there.
Now here is what I want to know, what was it about my butt that incited this little child to just run up and start rubbing it? I know it is perky but I've never had anyone of any age just run up and start rubbing it. (Alright I guess that isn't completely true, but never a total stranger. Okay that probably isn't completely true either--but it has never happened in the Long Drugs.) Or did it look so plump that the little boy thought it was a pair of punching bags or pillows? I guess I'll never know unless it starts happening often. I'm going back to the Long Drugs tomorrow, so we'll see if it is about the Long Drugs.
I'll let you know.
Now here is what I want to know, what was it about my butt that incited this little child to just run up and start rubbing it? I know it is perky but I've never had anyone of any age just run up and start rubbing it. (Alright I guess that isn't completely true, but never a total stranger. Okay that probably isn't completely true either--but it has never happened in the Long Drugs.) Or did it look so plump that the little boy thought it was a pair of punching bags or pillows? I guess I'll never know unless it starts happening often. I'm going back to the Long Drugs tomorrow, so we'll see if it is about the Long Drugs.
I'll let you know.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Controlling, Me?
So I know I said yesterday that I was on sabbatical. But that wasn't quite right. I had to meet some parishoners, Dave & Jeff, today for lunch and specifically give the treasurer, Dave, a few last pieces of information. I did that today. And while I was there he got a call from another member called. Dave said "Oh it's Phillip--from church." Then he took the phone call to another room. I had no idea what they were talking about. And I couldn't figure out why in the world Phillip would be calling Dave to begin with. And it was driving me crazy. I really wanted to know what they were talking about. It was all I could think about. And the longer the conversation went on the more I wanted to know. I'm beginning to think letting go during my sabbatical might be more difficult than I thought it would be. I think I believe that they are incapable of surviving without me. Or more accurately, I am indispensable. Now rationally I know that is not true, but irrationally its a different story. And I have to say I think this might be one of the reasons I need a sabbatical now. Yeah, I think this is going to be a real challenge for me. Sabbath is a practice. Tomorrow I'm going to keep working on it.
Peace out!
Peace out!
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