Alright, so I saw what might be the worst movie ever today. And that is coming from someone who saw Transformers. I mean I don't just want my money back I want the 2 hours of my life back. The best part of the movie was the hamburger I had after it was over.
What is this travesty of cinema you ask? Well it is The Nany Diary. Now some of you may suggest that I had what was coming to me by even showing up to begin with and that is probably true. But I read the book and enjoyed it. Sure it wont go down as a classic of American literature. But it was a fun summer read when I read it. It was funny. So I thought this could be worth my time and money. Plus it had Laura Linney in it. I love Laura Linney. Well I was wrong. And I've thought it through and I really only have one place to lay blame. I mean the plot was weak and the humor was lacking. But no in the end that is not the achiles heel of this movie, instead the fault lands right on Scarlett Johansen. She is an awful actress. I mean AWFUL!!! I've never seen anything that she has been in that I have enjoyed. She may be Woody Allen's new go-to girl. But seriously, she sucks!!! Her characters are always so flat. And this was no exception. So why do I keep submitting myself to the ScarJo torture, the cinematic water boarding if you will. Well I can't fully explain it. But my friend MS made I think what is the best comparison. ScarJo is my ex-boyfriend. You all probably have one of these too. He was not a bad person. He was not abusive. He was kind and generous. I thought to myself this guy can't be that bad. And maybe he'll surprise me. Maybe this one really will be the one. But in the end I realized thsi guy is never going to meet my needs. In the end he just doesn't do it for me. So what I'm saying is that I'm willing to accept that ScarJo does it for someone but just not for me. Although, that is a bit of stretch. And in the end I think even someone who is into her in that way would still find this movie a huge waste of time.
There were these three guys who came in right before the movie began. Big ol' butch guys who I thought were probably in the wrong movie. They joked all through the previews. (Which I hated because I love the previews.) Then when the lion roard during the MGM introduction they roared along with it. Your basic frat boy. And I was pissed off that they were sitting right behind me. And they left about 5 minutes into the movie. So I was then pissed off that they made such a comotion getting out. Why did they have to ruin the movie for everyone. Well now after having seen the movie, I think they are my heroes. Still annoying but at least they had the good sense to leave before the movie was over.
So there you have it. I'm gonna go shower now and see I can wash the movie stink off me. I'm guessing it is going to take a couple.
3 comments:
Great writing today!
But Brian, how do you really feel?
I don't care what you say, she's still hot.
hawt i say.
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