TMI: I talk about poop a lot.

I know, I know I said I was going to write more and now it is Saturday and I haven't written anything until today. But the only response I can give is that it as been a hard week. I'm fairly certain I'm depressed. I went to the doctor on Wednesday to see if there is anything physically wrong with me. He didn't find anything initially but drew some blood to see if we can find anything out. I am been fatigued for several weeks. And the body has just been out of whack--particularly my waste evacuation part. (Nice way of saying my poop hasn't been right, huh?) And then Monday morning I woke up with a kind of sore throat and felt like my throat was filling up with phlegm. (I hope you aren't reading this post while you are eating.)

I think there is a good possibility that there is nothing physically wrong with me. I'm fairly certain I'm depressed. It has been hard coming back to work. And I think the grief that filled the past four months just came flooding over me. So I've been trying to be kind to myself and taking it easy. I went to the beach on Tuesday with my friend Alan. It was beautiful and nice to get some sun. That seemed to help a little. It also helped a little just to go to doctor, even though he couldn't immediately find anything.

It was also time for me to go to the doctor anyway for my annual cancer check? That is my life now, at least for the next several years, possibly forever, I have to go to the doctor at least once a year for him to check for cancer. Every two years I'll have a colonoscopy. A colonoscopy is not bad--the prep is not that fun, but not bad. Then every other year I have to go to my primary care physician for him to do what is a stool hemocult. I understand what is going on in a colonoscopy. However, I don't really have a clue as to what is going on with a stool hemocult. Basically he had me drop trou, bend over, and then he stuck his finger up my butt. Then he wiped his finger on a piece of clear plastic and put some sort of liquid on it. Then he proclaimed that it looked good. I'm guessing what all that means is that I don't have cancer. Is that what my life has now come to, another year and I still don't have cancer?

So there you go. That has been my week. It has been poop-filled.

Peace out!