A Dream

I know it has been over a week now since my last post. I am back in San Francisco. I got back last Wednesday after a day and a half in New York. (Saw the new David Mamet play, November.) Then I really had a hard time readjusting to the time--mucho jet-lag. So I'm just now getting back into some sort of rhythm.

There are lots of things I think I'm ready to write about. I want to do some reflection about my trip. I'm fairly certain I'm ready to start writing about my brother's death and funeral. So all of those will come in the days ahead. But for today, or more accurately for tonight since it is already 9:45, I want to write about a dream I had while I was in Scotland. It was probably what will be the first of many dreams involving my brother.

My brother was in a hospital bed. He looked well, not at all like he looked when he died or the weeks leading up to his death when he had lost all muscle and body fat and was merely skin on bone. In the dream he looked like I hope to remember him. But he was still sick and he was still dying. My father was beside the bed showing him some sort of brochure with a picture of a couple. I don't know who the couple was. i didn't have a clear view of them. It was as if my father was telling my brother to wait for them. It seemed as if he was hopeful about something, something that involved them. But my brother said, "I don't think they are going to make it in time." My Dad seemed disappointed but my brother's response came very calmly without much sadness--just a realistic understanding of what was going on. All of this was bathed in a sort of white light, not like heavenly light, but more like those cheesy dream sequences you see on television where all but the focal scene is a misty kind of light. I kind of remember in the dream feeling overwhelmed by emotion and waking myself up with tears or the beginnings of a sob, but I'm unsure about that. But it did at least wake me up because I was able to remember the dream.

Don't really know what my subconscious was or is trying to work out. Don't have a clear sense as to what any of this might mean. But it is important for me to write it down. So there it is. If any of you dream people have any clues feel free to send them this way.

Peace out!

Post #69

First of all, sorry I didn't post anything yesterday. I ended up going to sing with the San Francisco City Chorus last night. I may sing with them this fall. We'll see.
Now for the post. I had a dream last night that I remembered and so I'm sharing it.
I was with my friend Don. And as I remember it he was responsible for cleaning his apartment's pool. Then it seems like he was convinced that someone else could do it. So we went to see a musical instead. He told me it was a really dark musical or disturbing--I can't remember which word he used. But we both agreed that it was a musical so it couldn't be bad. Well anyway the musical was about a woman who had mice as pets. They were puppets on her hands. But the mice came to life and were singing. Then the act or the show ended with puppets back on her fingers. There was doll hanging by its head on a wall, placed like a clock would be placed on a wall. The spot light decreases in size and focuses in on the head of the doll. The doll comes to life and says to me, it is now talking directly to me, "watch out, right behind you." This naturally wakes me up and I glance behind me and the way the comforter is placed it looks like a mouse or a rat is right at my head. I screamed and shook the comforter. Now I'm pretty sure there was not a mouse or rat on my bed because I didn't here anything thump on the floor or scurrying away. But it was frightening. And here is the thing I didn't scream like a little girl but instead it was a more gutteral scream. Go figure.

There you have it! Discuss.