It's official

It's official I am on sabbatical. It feels kind of weird. I had to give my keys to the person who is going to be doing the bulletin each week so that he can get into the building. And so as I was leaving my office I was looking around trying to figure out if there was anything I might need over the next four months. I almost started just grabbing things. I felt a little like Steve Martin in "The Jerk." You know the scene where he realizes that the he is broke and he is leaving the big mansion. And as he is leaving he begins this litany of "All I need is this paddle ball game." "All I need is this paddle ball game and this lamp." etc. etc. And I finally had to say okay I can still get into the building, not whenever I want to but I can get into the building. I'm not saying goodbye to all my stuff forever. So I ended up just grabbing one more book that I'm fairly certain I will not read while I'm off. So I'm off. I leave on Monday for San Diego where I'll be until next Friday.
Do not fear my little blog buddies: I'll be blogging along the way. So you'll know all about the ways I"m spending this time. Aren't you excited? I wonder if I should begin every post for the next four months with "travel log?" Isn't that the way Star Trek always began? I could be completely wrong on that I didn't really ever watch that show. But I would like to know if that quote is accurate because I really like having a lot of trivial knowledge. I yearn for it. You may know quantum physics but do you know the names of all of Charlene's sisters on Designing Women? I do. Harlene, Marlene and Darlene and later Carlene who was played by Jan Hooks. I say later Carlene because on several occasions when Charlene, Jean Smart, was on the show she would refer to her sisters and would only say "Harlene, Marlene, and Darlene." Never Carlene. Then all of sudden a Carlene pops up on the show. You just know that the names Harlene, Marlene and Darlene did play all that well with the focus groups. But come on explain why she had never been mentioned. Wow, did I really just go from Star Trek to quantum physics to Designing Women? I did, but that is why you read this blog isn't it? For the randomness of it all. Which is kind of quantum physics right? Ah yeah, I know how to tie it all together.

Peace out, you random particles.

Dixie Loves Dolly

Dolly Parton's new album dropped yesterday. (Don't you love how I used the industry term of dropping?) The name of the album is Backwoods Barbie, and it is fan-freakin-tastic. It is very old school country. I love, love, love it. I have been listening to it non-stop since I downloaded it yesterday. Woo hoo!

Also, I'm down to one more e-mail and three visits to make and I will be finished!!! Ahhhh yeah! I can hardly stand it. With my new haircut and my quickly decreasing responsibilities I'm already feeling lighter.

Before & After

It is done. There was a general consensus that I should go short again. And I had already made that decision before I put it up for the vote. But I did it today. I had Christine do a before and after shot. I intentionally did that weird sad face in the before, because in all of those makeover shows they make the people look dowdy and sad and then in the after picture they look all happy. So that is what I was going for. I know most of you already know this but every time I see a picture of myself I realize that my eyes don't open that much. What I need to know from all of you who know me is do my eyes always look this narrow or only in pictures? The woman who cut my hair in North Carolina when I was in college called them sleepy eyes. I think they look a little like drug addict eyes. I fear that I look like what my friend Lee makes fun of Renee Zellwigger for--he calls her squinty. I mean I can't do anything about it. I'm not intentionally squinting. And I'm getting enough sleep. But I would be interested to know.

Oh well. I hope you enjoyed the makeover.

Peace out!

"Does Hollywood need a hug?"

I don't even know where to begin. Yesterday was my last Sunday before my sabbatical starts. It was a combined worship service with the Methodist church. It was okay. it felt a little manic and out of control. The person who was supposed to set up the sound system showed up at 10:50--the service was starting at 11. And of course he had never set up the equipment before so at 11:01 he and the pastor, Lauren, were still fiddling with the equipment. Then I was really nervous with the sermon. Even though I was really only talking about what I was going to do on my sabbatical. But my hands were shaking. I ran into the sanctuary in my running clothes and talked about hydrating. I started by filling up an empty cup with water. Then at the end of the sermon time I invited everyone to write on a paper cup what rehydrates them, what refreshes their souls. Then to come forward and fill up their cups with water. But I also tried to say too much--so I was hurrying through and so we ran late. And I wasn't using a manuscript, hence the reason I didn't post a sermon. We skipped a song. But a few things happened that are worth mentioning. First at the end of the service the kids came in from Sunday school with cards they had made for me. It was so sweet. Then they had a cake for me in coffee hour. Now of course my congregation had nothing to do with it. But I would have been really surprised if they had. My congregation reminded me of who they were too though. The guy who often shares during concerns and celebrations about his cannibalistic birds shared another concern yesterday. A concern that my colleague Lauren had to take part in. In the Methodist church the person leading concerns and celebrations walks around the room with a microphone Phil Donahue style. So that everyone can hear. Well anyway the parishioner shared that the big cats at the SF zoo had reentered their new and improved, aka safer, habitat this week. And then went on to say that the zoo was looking for a mate for Tony the tiger who apparently was formerly Tatiana's mate. (Tatiana was the cat that attacked the people on Christmas day and was then shot.) Seriously, he had us pray that the zoo would find a new mate for Tony the Tiger. And then Lauren couldn't understand what he was saying. So she had him repeat it. I couldn't look. I was also really glad that I wasn't the one walking around with the mic.
Then last night I went to an oscar party. And the best part of watching the Oscars on the west coast is that I was home by 9:30. It was over by 9:00. Woo Hoo! And I don't mean to suggest that is the best part of the Oscars--only the best part of it on the west coast. I love, love, love the Oscars. It is a gay high holy day. My favorite moment last night was when John Stewart brought the female songwriter back out to give her speech. It was so sweet. What I wondered about was why Miley Cyrus was there. Huh? How did that happen? I also of course loved Kristen Chenoweth singing that song from Enchanted, even though I think the song and dance was a bit of a train wreck. But she did just find out a week ago that she was performing. So despite all of that she completely rocked it. I also felt sorry for Amy Adams, who I love. She is not a singer and she had to come out and sing all alone on a bare stage. What happened to all the spectacle that was in all the other songs. But all things considered she did a nice job. I really like her. If you haven't seen Junebug which she was nominated for last year you should rush out and rent it now.
Alright that is it. It is the night I'm going to work on my taxes. I have to finish up so I can send it off to my accountant before I leave town next week. So tonight it the night.
Peace out!

Paging Dr Freud

Yesterday when I returned home, this is the way I found my butternut squash. My cleaning ladies had arranged them this way when they cleaned while I was gone. Am I the only one who thinks when displayed this way they look like breasts? And I'm not even into breasts.

I am my own secretary and janitor.

I have been busy--I mean buussss-eeee--the past couple of days. Today I got to the office at 9 AM and really didn't leave except to go to lunch and Office Depot until 5 PM. Now I realize this is not a lot to many of you, but to me being actually physically in the office is a lot. As I've said before I do a lot of work at home. (And I don't usually have a lot of physical work to actually do. But that is beside the point.) But Sunday is my last Sunday before my sabbatical begins and I would like to finish all the work I need to do before so that when I leave on Sunday i'll be finished. So I was busy today mostly cleaning my office. I don't know about you all but I am a real big ol' procrastinator, particularly when it comes to filing. So by cleaning my office I mostly mean filing. I had things to file from last August. I think basically I just file once or twice a year. And every time I do that I have this great plan to keep up with the filing--knowing that if I did it along the way it would never take that much time. I have never been successful with that plan. Regardless of my good future intentions, when I left the office today it was clean. Well as clean as my office ever is. It is always dusty and dirty. It has never been mopped in the entire time I have been here and probably wasn't long before that either. I asked about getting it mopped by the incompetent grounds keeper early on, but realized that wasn't a battle I was willing to fight. What I'm trying to say is don't eat off the floor of my office. The three second rule doesn't even apply in my office. But it is clean. Well I'll probably wipe all the flat surfaces down tomorrow with one of those chlorox wipes. But other than that it is clean. Now I just have a few more things to do and then I am officially on sabbatical. Woo Hoo!!!

That's it--just me bragging about cleaning my office and the approaching sabbatical.

Peace out!

Psst! Hey man you wanna buy a ukulele?

So in the past three days I've seen the same man twice. Once in the grocery store parking lot on Saturday and then again today in the parking lot of Mitchell's Ice Cream. Now here is the odd thing about this man he was selling brightly painted miniature guitars. Now they could have been ukuleles, I don't really know. I played the ukulele when I was in grade school. No I didn't grow up in Hawaii. Instead, my elementary school got an arts grant when I was in the 3rd grade or so and one of the things they did with the grant was buy a classroom supply of ukuleles. (So while everyone else was learning to play the recorder I was learning to play the ukulele.) All I really remember was learning to play "Hang Down Your Head Tom Dooley." We played them as a group in front of the whole school when I was in the 4th grade--a little ukulele choir. I think ukuleles have fewer strings than guitars but I don't know that for sure. And what I'm really saying is that I didn't get close enough to the hispanic guitar/ukulele salesman to know what he was actually selling. But I was close enough to see that they were painted bright pinks and blues and greens. He was toting them around in a big black bag. Now here is my question: who buys a guitar/ukulele from a man on the street? Who, just coming out of the grocery store after having bought their chicken cutlets, fruit loops, and max pads, realizes that the one thing they forgot in the Safeway was a bright green guitar? Or who, while enjoying a delicious ice cream cone when someone asks them "would you like a ukulele with that?" says "yes." That is just crazy. And where else is he hocking his wares? Is there such a great demand for them that a whole army of salespeople are blanketing the city, the country, the globe? Right now is there a man selling mini-guitars in Zimbabwe? Alright, I'm guessing not. But seriously is this a new trend? Are mini-guitars the new encyclopedias? Or is this just a squeegee guy who is thinking out of the box? (For those of you who don't know about squeegee guys they are guys who in big cities when you pull up to a red light jump out in the street and start cleaning your windshield so that you will give them money. We don't have them in San Francisco, but I've seen them in other big cities.) Maybe we have street guitar salespeople instead.
It seems really appropriate to end this post with the query: "What will they come up with next?"

Peace out!

Tomorrow's sermon

Here is tomorrow's sermon. Always remember this is a draft that I finish up on Sunday mornings, meaning it is fraught with errors, spelling and the such. i think it is okay.

I had to take something down to Dave last week, so I spent a little time visiting with them and playing with Jacob and Taylor. Taylor is on the verge of walking. For those of you who have had children or spent a lot of time around children know that learning to walk for a child is a series of initial acts that lead to walking. It begins almost from the time the child is born. They learn to roll over. They learn to sit up. Eventually with a enough belly time they begin to crawl. And this is where the fun really begins. Because suddenly they realize that their bodies will take them somewhere. They don’t have to be carried around to check out things—being solely dependent on their parents. So once they begin to crawl they start exploring their worlds. And they crawl up to a couch or a chair and are able to pull themselves up and suddenly they are standing. And Taylor is now at the point where he is even letting go and simply standing. But he is still not quite sure that his feet alone will carry him where he wants to go. So if he wants to go somewhere he gets back down on all fours and off he goes. And what Dave and Jeff and now Donna are doing is walking around with his hand in theirs, doing what I call the monkey or ape walk—hands and arms up in the air and walking along. And he is so close to walking. While I was there Donna would hold Taylor’s hands and then point him in my direction. And Taylor would do what I think is the most important part of learning to walk, besides actually walking, he would let go. He let go of Donna’s hands and took a step, not two steps which is really how I would define walking, not one step but at least two steps. But he is letting go.
As I said letting go is probably the most important part but it is also probably the most difficult. And I don’t just mean for toddler. We all face moment after moment in our live that require us to let go. We begin letting go of our parents when we start learning to walk and must of our childhood and adolescence is spent learning to let go of our parents. And if we are honest we probably spend most of our adulthood letting go of our parents as well. Or maybe that’s just me. This week I was remembering when I was a child, probably 9 or 10 I went to spend a summer with my Aunt Carol in Virginia. It was the first time I had ever been on a trip without my parents. I went with my Aunt June, she was staying for a week or so and then she would go home and I would return at the end of the summer. However, at the end of the two weeks I was ready to go home. So it being much easier to change a flight then, that is what we did. I went home. But I had practiced letting go and found that it was hard and scary. But I let go again and again and again. Eventually venturing out to college and then to Atlanta and then to San Francisco. When I moved to San Francisco it felt like a very big step. I had never been away from the East coast. While I hadn’t been in the same town—I at least had been a days drive. But when I moved here that would not be the case. And so I once again let go. I felt a little like I imagine Abraham must have felt. Leaving his homeland. He would take his wife Sarai with him and his cousin Lot, but that would be it. He would leave the only world that he had known. He would leave the family land in search of some other land, a promised land. That was a big deal. Without land how would they eat? Without land where would the animals graze? How would they survive? But God said it so Abram set out. And while Abram exhibits what seem like great courage in these short verses we read to day that doesn’t last. Abram doesn’t constantly trust. Abram gets scared. And thinks he had made a mistake. I remember lying on my couch the first day I arrived in San Francisco and wondering the same exact thing. Had I made a huge mistake? It is hard letting go.
However, what I know and what Abram knew, although at times we both forget is Psalm 121. It is what allows Taylor to occasionally let go and take one step. Taylor knows there is someone watching over him. Someone who will pick him up if he falls. He is still learning to trust that knowledge but it is there. And this Psalm tell us the same. I had Dave read the Nan Merrill translation so let me say the words again but this time from The New Revised Standard Version.
I lift up my eyes to the hills— from where will my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber. He who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade at your right hand. The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all evil; he will keep your life.
The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time on and forevermore.

These verses and this awareness makes it easier to let go. I’ve talked about my friends Mark and Mary Sue before. And I’ve told you all about during concerns and celebrations about the their pregnancy. Mary Sue is in the hospital and has been for about a month now and will be there at least another 3 weeks or so. And a few weeks ago Mark called me and asked me if would help him find something. He was looking for a verse from the Bible that talked about God neither slumbering or sleeping. First I wanted to know why Mark was calling me in the middle of the day when I knew he was at work—at work at his job that does not require him to quote from the Bible. And he told me he was looking it up for Mary Sue. And I found for him this Psalm 121. It happens to be one of my favorite Psalms. But he didn’t quite know why Mary Sue wanted this verse. So I called her and she told me she was writing her church newsletter article. Which at first I chastised her for thinking about work when she was supposed to be resting. But then she first told me that if she didn’t do something she was going to go crazy and then second she told me the story she wanted to tell and it was this. Every morning while it is still dark outside and Mary Sue is asleep, a nurse comes into her room and attaches some monitors to a series of belts that are wrapped around her ever expanding belly. This is to monitor the heart beat of the babies that are growing inside her. And she talked about the fact that it gives her great comfort to know that even while she is sleeping there is someone monitoring her and her unborn children. And I would add that she is able to sleep because of this awareness as well. She is able to let go of much of her anxiety because she knows that someone is worrying about the babies for her. She knows that the one who is watching over her neither slumber nor sleeps.
But still letting go is hard. Nicodemus was having problems letting go as well. But he wasn’t leaving home. Not a physical home. Nicodemus was being asked to leave a way of thinking. No Nicodemus was being asked to leave thinking behind. He was being asked to feel something. And I have to say I understand Nicodemus. I’ve been talking about lot about this recently. Nicodemus is asking legitimate questions. How can one be born again? After you’ve grown old? Can you crawl back into your mother’s womb? Of course you can’t. Don’t be so silly Jesus. Nicodemus is coming to Jesus with all the knowledge that he has gained. All that he knows about the natural world, the physical world. And Jesus is saying, you have to leave that behind. You’ve got to leave all the thoughts and the reasoning behind and trust. Trust that the one who watches over you neither slumbers nor sleeps and wants to shower you with love. The God who loves the world, loves you and is inviting you to receive that love. And most of us know that love isn’t always something that can be reasoned it is something that has to be felt. I want to reason things out. I think if I garner enough information then all will be revealed. But all cannot be revealed through information, some things have to be felt. Real transformation often comes from letting go of our old ways of thinking so that we can discover something new. Jesus was saying I am not what you expected. I am not going to be what you have been told I will be. I am more than that. Now I think Jesus understood that this would be difficult. So Jesus says we don’t all these things on Earth so that you will know but if you don’t even believe this then how can I show you something more. Let go Nicodemus, let go. Jesus desired to show Nicodemus who he really was, but first Nicodemus had to let go.
I’ve been practicing centering prayer four about 6 months or so now. I don’t have the time today to explain centering prayer to you, but suffice it to say that centering prayer is silent prayer that usually involved sitting in silence for about 20 minutes. Centering prayer is about letting go of your thought with the intention of receiving God’s love. As thoughts come into ones mind the prayer gently lets them go, lets them float on by, with the intention of returning to God. And that is what Jesus is saying, let go of the thoughts and feel it. God is here. God is neither slumbering nor sleeping. God desires to show you love, love that comes through Jesus. Love that comes to us. But in order to feel it we have to let go. We have to let go of the anxiety and fear. We have to let go of the need to reason everything out. We have to let go of old ways of thinking. In the church it often means we have to let go of old ways of doing things. We have to be willing to let go of our families and our old kinship circles so that we might find a new promised land. And in doing that we know that letting go is hard, but the good news is this: When you lift your eyes to the hill in search of from where your helps comes The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time on and forevermore. Thanks be to God.

Glitter

I don't have a sermon yet. I'll post it tomorrow. I had a busy day. A conference call at 10 AM, 11 AM. Then I had lunch and went to the office to do the bulletin. Then I went to meet a woman who is doing research for a foundation--something about gays and baptists and such. And of course as is the case with most of these things I have to spend a lot of time explaining Baptists. So I didn't get home until 5. And I was not going to write a sermon then. So I'll do it tomorrow and then I'll post it.

For today, I'll share something that happened yesterday. I went to spiritual direction and during it we were talking about my sabbatical. And we started talking about what made me glow, what made my eyes sparkle, what did I take delight in, and had I planned any of that during my sabbatical. We had been talking about the things that I delighted in as a child. Anyway the thing I said that really made my eyes light up was seeing the Harry Potter sites when I go to Scotland. You know the sites where some of the movies were filmed. I can hardly stand it! I'm so excited. So I'm working trying to do more of the things that really give me delight, that make me glitter.

What are the things that make you glitter, the make your eyes sparkle? What do you delight in?

Happy freakin' V-day

Okay, so on Oprah today she is helping people tell the people they love in ways that only Oprah can. You know its Valentines day and all that crap. And here are a few questions it raised for me.
(1) Do all blond housewifes only have other blond housewife friends? Because there was this one man who surprised his wife and had her friends surprise their wives as well. So they showed all the women showing up at her house and they all looked alike. I could just imagine them all driving the same SUV, working out at the same gym, and stopping in at the same Starbucks. And I just know they all live in the suburbs. I know I'm stereotyping. But I am. And I'm just going to accept that.
(2) Who just agrees to that? A woman wanted to surprise her husband by getting him to sing on the Oprah show a duet with Patti LaBelle. He apparently is a huge Patti fan and wanted to name their first child after her. So of course that is what happened she got him to come on the show by telling him that he was going to sing a love song to her and then after a minute into the song Patti LaBelle comes out and starts singing with him. And he just sort of turns around and looks at her as if that had been the plan all along. So my synical side thinks he and his wife had this planned so that he could break into the singing business. He has a decent voice. And he really did not seem to be shocked by any of it. But back to the original question, assuming he really was not in on some egotistical hoax, who agrees to that? Oh you want me to go on the Oprah Winfrey show and sing with less than a weeks notice, sure I'd love to do that. That is crazy!
So here is my last question and it is one for all of you. Have you ever had a big romantic surprise by your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, partner, spouse? If so what was it. I've never really had the experience. I dated a guy once and gave him this beautifully wrapped cook book called "Intercourses." It is a great cookbook with each chapter focusing on a different affrodesiac. And the photos inside are beautiful. And I'm sure I gave him chocolates or something. Anyway it was a nice gift. He gave me a potted grocery store miniature rose bush and a grocery store tin of chocolates. He gave them to me by pointing to the kitchen table and saying "your valentines gift is over there on the table." Then a few weeks later he broke up with me. I would have never given him that cookbook if I'd known what he was getting me or that he was about to break up with me. Up to that point the best things I got out of that relationships had been the Christmas and birthday gifts. Still I have to say that is the best thing to come out of that relationship. It was holiday to holiday relationship--we met on Halloween and broke up close to Valentines day.
So I think I'll add to my have you ever had a big romantic surprise and what was it? Or and this is for those of us who are alone and kind of bitter about it or with someone but still bitter: what is the worst gift or presentation of a gift that you have received? Did it point to the end of the relationship or was the beginning of life long happiness?

Love and kisses.

A cowboy and a prom dress

Do you ever wish you could save images that you see as you are going through life. I don't mean the pictures or the videos that you shoot of important moments like weddings, children's birthdays, or day you ate a really good piece of fried chicken. (Is that last one just me?) No I mean moments that are completely random. You are the only one to witness it but you really want to share it with the people you know. But it is an image that seems almost impossible to describe in words. I know there are people who have cameras with them all the time. I am not one of those people, nor, do I think, are most people. So you can probably get where I'm going with this. I've had a couple of instances recently where I witnessed something which I wished I could preserve in history. But I had no camera, so I'm going to try and describe them.
Keep in mind these are not stories, but just moments.

The first is a woman crossing the street. This was Monday it was about 2 in the afternoon. And she was crossing the street not at a crosswalk but in the middle of the street. She was moving very slowly--I'm assuming she had some mobility issue. And here is the part I wanted really to preserve. She was wearing a bright pink prom dress. It could have been a bridesmaid dress but you get the picture. She also had on a back sweater, because I'm assuming it was chilly and this appeared to be a sleeveless dress. Nice right? (I'm guessing she was probably homeless or mentally ill, so I'm not making fun of her, I'm just saying it was a great image.)

The second I witnessed today. I was walking down to a coffee shop to work and get a chocolate dipped macaroon. (I'm comfort eating, don't judge me!) Anyway, in my little quiet neighborhood. I saw an older man in a cowboy hat holding a guitar. Not playing a guitar. Holding a guitar. It was not in a case. He was just holding it by the neck of the guitar. And he was looking around like he was lost. It was if a street musician had somehow wondered in my neighborhood and was looking for all the crowds. Or perhaps he was a visitor from another time-- you know a time traveler. And I was the only one to witness some cowboy, spaghetti western, movie actor being thrown into the year 2008. Ooh, I hope that is what it is.

Anyway, those are the moments I want to preserve. Do you have any images that you have witnessed that you wished you had a permanent record of? Or have you time traveled and want to confess it on YouCanCallMeDixie? Come on, share.

Peace out!

Long or Short?

So my friend Justin, the fabulous photographer of Studio Vox Pop--visit his website--is taking a portrait photography course. He has a fantastic eye--I mean he has other fantastic parts too, I mean I haven't seen all his parts, I'm just talking about his eye, he's not just one big eye. Anyway he took some new head shots recently of me for his class. He also took the photo of me last year that I posted the first time I blogged. So I just got the photos today and I need help making a decision. I think I've already made the decision but I'm putting it out there for you all to way in on as well. I've been letting my hair grow, but should I cut it again and go short? The pictures are posted above--go to the comments section and vote, long or short.

I feel a cold coming on

That is right, I feel a cold coming on. I started feeling it Thursday night. So Friday I went to Target and bought some Airborne. I've been taking that ever since. I'm hoping that will keep it from coming on in full force. But I did go out and play some last night so that probably didn't help. I went to a crab feed fundraiser for a local school. I won a basket of bath supplies--you know like bath beads and salts and such. And some sort of fluffy towelly thing. I gave the basket to my friend Shannon. I can't take a bath in my apartment--the tub is too shallow. The times I've tried most of my body has been sticking up out of the water getting very cold. (I think that sounds kind of dirty, but its not intended to.) I have move around just to get completely wet. So I don't take baths. Plus growing up all we had was a bathtub, no shower. So I've had my share. I particularly don't want to ever have to bend over to get my hair wet to wash it again. I also don't particularly like the idea of sitting around in my own filth.

It is Sunday morning so I've got to get going on worship prep. But the reason I have some extra time this morning is that I am not preaching today, hence the no sermon post. I'm instead doing a Taize prayer service this morning since it is the first Sunday in Lent. Which is also good because I'm not feeling 100% as I said so it will be nice to just sit for a little while, sing some chant and then sit in silence for 10 minutes.

Oh, one more thing. So I went to Target several times this week. They have all of their valentine items up. Their decoration theme this year is conversational hearts. And most of them say things like love, sweetheart, be mine, etc. However, one of them says Glitter. Glitter? Is my valentine a my little pony? I just don't see Glitter as an endearing pet name. All I can think of is that bad J-Lo film or was it Mariah Carey, either way you know the film called Glitter. I just find it funny.

Alright, I"m off to get ready for worship.

Peace out!

Baby poo and ants

Okay I was trying to post a picture of the carrot soup. But I couldn't. And honestly that is probably a good thing because it kind of looked like baby poo. But it was tasty. You'll just have to trust me. And just so you all will know, I got more carrots today. If I ate all the carrots I have I would turn orange.

I don't really have anything else to share.

I will tell you about the ants though. So we don't have issues with bugs in San Francisco. But we do have problems with ants. They really start coming out when the rains come. I don't understand why, but they do. And they have been in full force for the last couple of weeks. And I mean they swarm. Do ants swarm? (There are a lot of them!) Well anyway I came into the kitchen Wednesday morning and I look at the box of Kashi Go Lean Crunch with Honey and Almonds and there is a line of ants marching in and around the box and then I see that they are coming in and out of the box. So I didn't know what to do with them. At first I moved the box to the dining table so I could wash down the counter. But then I realized I didn't want them moved anywhere else in the house. So I quickly got the box off the table and killed the few that had left the box. Then I'm spinning around in the kitchen with ants scurrying out of the box onto my hand. Finally, I just put the box outside on my front stoop. So anyone walking by had to be thinking why is there a box of cereal on this guy's front stoop. Now I could get it if it was like cocoa puffs or something, but Kashi GoLean Crunch with honey and almonds. Only in San Francisco would the ants go for the health food.

So that's it. That is my ant story. But the rains have stopped for a few days, maybe we'll get a little reprieve. If it is interesting I'll let you know.

Peace out!An

A quickie before the meter runs out

Okay, I'm sitting at a coffee shop because my cereal box was full of ants--but that is another story another post. I only have about five minutes before the parking meter runs out. So I wanted to share a quick story.
Where I am sitting I'm looking out the window because otherwise I couldn't see the computer screen. Anyway so there is this woman standing on the sidewalk talking on her cell phone and looking down the street for the bus. Well she gets too close to the curb and completely falls off. (I just love witnessing stuff like this.) And probably the best part is of course she looks around to see if anyone has witnessed this and she actually thinks she go away with it. But she didn't I saw it, and I laughed. Not rolling on the floor laughing, but laughing none the less. And here is the thing I would expect someone to laugh at me if I did it. So that's it. I wish I had a picture. Because that would be funny.

Until later. Happy Ash Wednesday! (Can you say Happy Ash Wednesday? Maybe it would be better to say Sorrowful Ash Wednesday.)

Peace out!

I got nothing

Okay I have nothing for today's post. I went to a super bowl party yesterday. It was fun--I'm not a huge football fan but I love a party. (Okay just as a side note, right now Paula Deen is on the food network and she is making deep fried collard green wontons! That is crazy! And I love fried foods.) Anyway the last quarter of the football game was exciting but other than that, kind of ho-hum. I had more fun eating the chili and hot dogs, oh yeah!!! And playing with the two year old of my friends Laine and Sheldon, Linden. He is such a delight. But he was so worn out that at one point he crawled in between the ottoman and the couch and fell hard and fast asleep. It was almost as if he started out to do some more playing and then just gave up. So sweet.

But then because I am on the west coast, I was back home by 7:30. I had time to watch a movie last night. I watched Hot Fuzz. It is this British comedy by the same people who made Shaun of the Dead. It was really pretty funny, not at funny at SoftheD but funny none-the-less. But then today I saw Michael Clayton. I have to say it was okay but not great. And I just don't know that George Clooney deserved an Oscar nomination, unless they are giving them out now for being hot. Which is that is the case then well deserved. Seriously, hottie.

For those of you wondering how my carrot soup turned out. It is really good. Some of you asked for visuals of the soup. The next bowl i have I'll take a picture and post it. I didn't let it boil long enough so it is a little chunkier than I would like and a little sweeter than I would have liked. The wine I added was a fruity wine and with the sweetness of the carrots and the apple it is almost a little too sweet. But I've been enjoying over the past few days. I'm going to bake a carrot cake this week to use up some more of the carrots. If anyone has any suggestions on how else to use carrots please let me know--I mean ways to cook them, get your minds out of the gutter. Also, if anyone knows if I could shred the carrots and freeze them to use in soups later please let me know. I just don't know. I'm sure I could find the answer on the internet but that would take effort. So instead I'll just ask all of you.

Alright that is it. To not have anything to share I sure did write a lot. It just wasn't all that interesting.

Remember if you are in a Super-Duper Tuesday state tomorrow is the day. Go out and vote. (I think I've decided who I'm going to vote for I'm no longer an undecided.)

Peace out!

Carrot Soup

Okay folks here is another cooking segment. Although, I don't really know if you can call it a cooking segment if all you know I'm doing is chopping carrots. Instead it is really just me telling a story. A story that honestly doesn't go anywhere or at least isn't all that interesting. But anyway, here it is.

Bon Appetit

Sunday's Sermon Draft UPDATED

Hello all,

So I did it again this week. i wrote my sermon on Friday. (Thanks, Mark, for the pep talk to get it done.) Again this is a draft that I'll work on for Sunday. I'm really hoping it holds together. I think it does. Although, I think I'm stretching a bit to explain why we try and hold on to the dark moments as well as the light moments. I think it is true I just don't know that I'm fully saying why we do it. Anyway here it is. Enjoy. (This is now the actual version that I preached on Sunday. I changed a few things and also corrected the dessert to desert. Although I can imagine that it would be difficult to walk through the dessert.)

As most of you know I’m a member of a group of young clergy that were brought together as the result of the First Parish Project. Now we are able to continue meeting at least once a year through a grant from the Lilly Foundation. This past year we met at Westminster Woods up near Occidental. I love these people, we love one another. When we are together we share our struggles, we share our joys, we worship together, we cook together, we play together, we pray together. I have never felt more connected to any group of people than I do to these folks. It was a connection I felt from the very beginning of our relationship—I remember it distinctly. We first met in the food court of the Atlanta Airport and then rode about 3 hours in a van headed for North Carolina. I knew these people were kindred souls. And the delight I take in them has only grown over these 4 years or so. And inevitably the same thing is said at least once during our time together and that is this: so when are we going to build our little commune and all of us live and worship together forever? We want to hold onto the experience, we want to hold on to one another and stay there. Stay there in the midst of this joy and wonder and love. But inevitably we come down from the mountain and reenter our daily lives. Some would suggest that we are coming back to the real world, but I would disagree because it suggests that what we had up on that mountain wasn’t real. It was instead a mere figment of our imagination. But no the experience we had was real, it was as real as anything that any of us have ever known, perhaps more real. What it was though is only a moment, only one experience, and while it was profound and life changing it was only one moment among many.
That is the kind of experience that Peter, James and John had on that mountain with Jesus. It was an experience unlike any of them had ever had before. I must confess I don’t really understand what happened. Moses and Elijah appeared. Then a big cloud that they heard God’s voice echo out of “This is my Son, the Beloved; with him am I well pleased; listen to him.” Then Moses and Elijah disappeared and the cloud disappeared and everyone went down the mountain and Jesus said don’t talk about this until the Son of Man has been raised from the dead. Which you know the disciples had to be thinking “you’ve got to be freakin’ kidding me, we can’t talk about this?” But those are the facts. I can’t tell you any more than that. Well I can tell you about the one thing I do understand and that is after Moses and Elijah appeared Peter said, let’s stay here on this mountain. I’ll build you a house and Moses a house and Elijah a house and we’ll just stay here forever. Peter wants to stay here and bask in this experience. So that means whatever is going on here has to be more than can be expressed in words. It would have to be felt. And that I can’t explain—I think whatever it was that Peter, James and John experienced here is more than words can describe. Because this was clearly a vision and visions involve more than just facts. Visions are about seeing what is not there as well, they involve a little divine imagination. They saw something in that cloud that was so spectacular that they wanted to preserve it forever. There was a Peanuts cartoon: Linus and Charlie Brown are lying on their backs on the pitcher’s mound, staring up at the clouds in the sky. 

Charlie Brown says, Linus, do you ever see anything in the clouds?”

Linus: Well, yes Charlie Brown, I do. For instance, that one over there bears a striking resemblance to Michelangelo’s depiction of the Creation on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. 

And that one, there over the school, looks like a map of Scandinavia, see; there’s Denmark and Sweden. 

And that one there looks like a helix. Do you ever see anything Charlie Brown?

Charlie Brown: Well, I was going to say a Ducky and a horsey but I changed my mind. Peter, James and John saw things in that cloud that were dazzling and amazing. And they wanted to preserve that. They wanted to preserve it because they were afraid that it might not compare to anything else that they would ever experience. Have you ever had one of those experiences? An experience where you said, I could die now. Not because you are necessarily ready to die but instead because you can’t imagine it getting any better. That is how the disciples felt. They couldn’t imagine it getting any better than this. And then it got better after they saw Moses and Elijah they heard God’s voice. Now they really were afraid. Hearing God’s voice is awe inspiring. It comes with such weight. It also forever changes how you view the world. They will remember that day forever. They know that it will be a permanent marker. That was the day we heard the voice of God. This the first day after the day we heard the voice of God. This is the day after the day after we heard the voice of God. This is the first meal since we heard the voice of God. Well you get the picture. But they also want to hold on to it. They want to hold this closeness that they feel tight. They don’t want it to fade away.
It’s like the end of every youth camp. We would have to physically drag the youth onto the vans to leave camp. The experience was so great, so beautiful that they wanted to hold on to it. The world at the bottom of the mountain was so much harder than this experience in the cloud. And the disciples had already been told that Jesus must go to Jerusalem to die. Just one chapter before Peter tries to tell Jesus to stop talking about it and is reprimanded. So they are beginning to get that their friend, this Messiah is going to have to be killed. Life on the mountain is a lot better than it is going to be. So let’s just hold on to this experience. Let’s freeze it in time and just bask in its glow forever. But they couldn’t. When they looked up again it was all gone, Moses, Elijah, the cloud, and they had to go back down the mountain.
I’ve been thinking though this week that we don’t just try and hold onto the mountain top experiences. Sometimes we want to linger too long in the negative ones too. The painful moments that also completely altar how we see the world. We got some more bad news about my brother this week. And so while we still have a little bit of hope, it is looking more and more likely that he might die soon. And so I’ve really been thinking about how this is going to forever reframe the moments of my life. This is the first Christmas since my brother died, or this is the first birthday since my brother died. And I think that is only natural, but Jesus is saying we can’t get stuck there. And I think often we get stuck in the darkness for the same reason that we get stuck in the light. We want to hold on to it because we are afraid. We are afraid that if we let go we’ll forget. Or we are afraid that it will only get worse, so we’ll stay here because it is better than it could be. Or we stay here because we think this is probably as good as it will get. I will never get over this loss—I’m afraid to go on. The future is too dark.
But the truth is we can’t hold on to this either. Today is the end of Epiphany. So it is appropriate that this Transfiguration story appears the week before Lent begins. We have been spending these weeks talking about Jesus’ birth, the magi following a star, the glory and splendor of Jesus and next week we begin the march to the cross. We journey through the desert of Lent. And to all of this Jesus says do not fear. Jesus says stand up Peter, lets go down the mountain. You can do it. Do not fear. Nothing will be too great that you will not be able to handle because I am going with you. As we look to the desert, as we look to the foot of the mountain, as we look to Jerusalem I will go with you. And then he says what as I pointed out earlier must have completely mystified the disciples but I think it is so important to remember as we set out for the desert. As we try and hold on to the moments of our lives that we think can’t get any better or any worse. And that is don’t tell anyone until after the Son of Man has been resurrected. Essentially what he is saying is this moment, no matter how beautiful, it pales in comparison to what is to come. I think he is trying to say you’ll understand this experience more clearly after the resurrection. And I think that might be true. But I also think it says don’t hold on to any moment out of fear—while you will be changed from this moment on, while the world will look completely different, you need not fear because I am going to go with you forever. All the death that you are so afraid for me to experience, all the death and darkness that you are afraid of, do not fear. Because there is light on the other side, beautiful glorious light. You may not be able to see it yet, but it is there. Just come down from the mountain and keep walking.
And so I’ll end Epiphany with this poem. A poem that I think serves us well as we come down from the mountain, as we let go of our fear.

"Grounds for Hope" by Gerhard Frost

If I am asked
what are my grounds for hope,
this is my answer:
Light is lord over darkness,
truth is lord over falsehood,
life is lord over death.

Of all the facts I daily live with,
there's none more comforting
than this: If I have two rooms,
one dark, the other light,
and I open the door between them,
the dark room becomes lighter
without the light one
becoming darker. I know
that is no headline,
but it's a marvelous footnote;
and God comforts me in that.

Amen.